Randomnocity

Black Friday

2011-11-25T22:11:00.000-05:00

Just in time for this holiday season comes the latest tale of retail negotiation success.

I've been lusting after a new TV for awhile. Since our move, my old big-screen just hasn't been right. Could be the five flights of stairs it traveled in the move. Could be the two years of storage about a year into its life. Could be the massive amount of evening TV I watch. Whatever. In any event, the TV repair folks told me that the cost to repair substantially outweighs the value. Lucky (sorta') for me, the deterioration causes visible problems that are driving Tina batty. Hence my ability to actually look for a new TV.

The actual TV I'm interested in is irrelevant, so rather than bore you with the specifics, let's just call it X. X has been on sale recently, down about 45% from it's suggested retail price. I've been watching it on Amazon and at Best Buy and Amazon has beat BB by about $200. So I was still debating the merits of X with Tina when I looked online this morning and saw it for another $150 off - essentially 50% from its MSRP. Woo hoo! Time to buy!

But I had to get final approval so I couldn't click through quite yet.

A few minutes later and I was ready to go. I clicked 'Add to Cart' and just before I clicked Buy, I noticed that we were back to the pre-Black Friday price. Woah.

So rather than Buy, I called Amazon's customer service line. Invariably, I found "Peggy" (a person of obvious foreign persuasion, pretending to be in the US "for my comfort"). It only took her 10 minutes to verify my account because she couldn't spell, couldn't validate my physical address and for whatever reason, would ask me the same question over and over. But hey, once we got through that, I was confident that I would be able to explain my complicated issue to her and get resolution.

As Wayne Campbell might say "shah - and monkey's might fly outta' my butt!" But hey, I'm nothing if not patient. So I tried.

Twenty-five minutes later, we were no closer to resolution and nearly half that time had been spent with me on hold while Peggy tried to work things out on her end. Her eventual response? That I needed to talk with the folks in the "large items" area. But, of course, they were closed (it was only 8am ET, so I was agreeable). Peggy offered to take my phone number and have them call me back in an hour.

Perfect. No problem.

Five hours later (after we were back in the car, having spent the day at the Zoo), I still hadn't received a call, so I called back. [Now, what I didn't tell you was that I periodically called and after being on hold for 20-30 minutes at a time, decided to simply try later.] This time, I almost immediately got through. This support person was a native English speaker so we quickly got to the large item desk.

They explained that Amazon doesn't guaranty prices until you actually Buy. They also checked and told me that what I saw earlier in the day was "Sold by Amazon" and the one that was now in my cart was "Sold by" someone else, so Amazon had no power to make any changes. If I wanted X, I was going to have to pay the higher price. Grrrrr. No deal (at least not yet).

I finished driving home and checked my e-mail. Waiting for me was a "how'd we do" e-mail from Amazon. Ahhh... revenge. Only, I didn't want revenge, I simply wanted to say how things were for me. And, in my opinion, it wasn't great. So I gave the experience a bad grade. Amazon's automated process then asked me if I would be willing to let them take another chance to make it right - enter my phone number and let them call me. So I did.

A few seconds later, I get a call from Mike at Amazon. I explain the situation and he reiterates the earlier explanation of why they really can't do anything. So while he's considering what he might be able to do, Cameron is yammering in the background. This gives Mike the ability to be friendly... and for me to connect with Mike on a personal level. He's a dad, a grandfather and has been at Amazon for awhile. He was able to see that I've been an Amazon customer for more than a decade (they keep the entire history). We commiserated over the advances in technology and retail.

In between, however, I hear an opportunity - that if there's a TV that *Amazon* sells, Amazon can budge on price. I quickly locate the model of X that Amazon does sell - one model more advanced (this one has 3D, even though I don't need/want it), let's call it X+. Unfortunately, it's also a little more expensive. I give Mike the updated model number and he pulls it up on his end. I ask him if he can "work with me".

While he's checking (as he realizes I've asked for a pretty significant discount), we keep chatting. A few minutes elapses. He tells me that no one has responded to his inquiry, so he's going to go ahead and do it. A few seconds later, I get X+ for the earlier advertised price of X. Schweet.

Effective savings: >$300 off retail. >$1000 off MSRP.
Cost: 3 phone calls and some schmoozing.
Totally worth it.

Customer Service Craziness Magnet

2011-07-23T09:32:00.000-04:00

Some people are magnets for bad boy/girlfriends. Others are magnets for "trouble". I'm a magnet for poor customer service.

I don't know why that is, exactly. Generally speaking, I'm friendly and I get along well with others who show me some modest level of respect. So why is it that I tend to find the people who don't know what they're doing, don't know how to help me and don't ever seem to satisfy what I've asked for?

Part of it, I think, is that I DO know what I'm doing, most of the time. So by the time I call for help, or by the time I look for additional information, I'm not a newbie. I don't need to be walked through the basics. I don't need to be told to "make sure it's plugged in" or to "check to verify xyz". I've done those things long ago. I've also tried about a dozen potential solutions. I've spent an hour or more on the internet looking to see if other people have had the same difficulty and how they resolved the issue. I've done my homework and now I'm calling "the expert" for assistance.

Oh, and need I mention that at one point in my life, I was a first-line tech support guy, too? So I've seen it all from both sides of the fence. Take it from me, customer service is lacking across the board. But I hear the complaints about stupid customers, stupid management and god-awful policies. I understand that you are constrained. You have limits to your abilities to help. You can only do so much with what you're given.

So, customer service experts, here are some suggestions on how to satisfy your next customer without going crazy yourself, but still meeting the needs of the person coming to you for help (because even in sales-related customer service, you're still providing "help" of some sort):

Assume that I know what I'm talking about. You can use a few base questions to figure out if I really do or if I've only got a surface-level knowledge about the topic at issue. But don't start from the "you don't know anything" position. This shows respect and you might find out that I actually DO know what I'm talking about. Heck, you might even learn something about your area of expertise as a result.
Listen. I know, I know. Trite. But yet so true. You have to listen to me. Which means that you can't be talking at the same time or trying to tell me something about anything other than what I am asking you to address. It's kinda' funny that I'm saying this, for with legal-related issues, I know that I tend to ask questions about what appear to be unrelated topics. But if you have to ask a question that makes it sound like you've not been listening and are just going through a checklist, explain the reason for the question.
Respond to what I'm asking. If I ask "What's your lowest APR available today?" - don't tell me the benefits of your company. Tell me the lowest APR. If I say "I want to buy THIS computer." please don't try to sell me something different. And if I ask "Can I use any receptacle for my outdoor plugs or do I need a GFCI plug?" don't provide me with the history of the discovery of electricity. Answer the friggin' question.
I don't need to know how smart you are. I'm already coming to you for your knowledge. You don't need to prove that you know more about the topic than I do. You simply need to apply that knowledge to solve my problem. I admit that I stumble on this one as a consultant all the time. I forget that they already know I'm an expert and I sometimes feel the need to prove it. Don't.
Answering "I don't know" to my question is fine - so long as you follow it with "but I'll go find out for you." Nuff said.

Anything I've left out?

Copyright Oddities

2011-07-12T09:32:00.001-04:00

Copyright is a weird animal. It's one of the few constitutionally-mandated personal rights and it serves as the basis for the vast majority of the things people do online and in their daily lives (everything from this blog to your tweets and FB status postings to anything you write as a result of your job.... to photos you take while on vacation). Yet it's so fundamentally misunderstood that it's almost a joke.

Which is interesting given that the penalties for violating copyright are pretty severe. Forgetting the civil penalties (those that can be levied against you by the actual person you harmed), the criminal penalties can go up to $250,000/copy + 5 years in Club Fed.

One of the nuances of copyright is that in order to have a copyright in something, you have to have created the work covered by copyright (and it has to be a work that can be granted a copyright) ... or you have to have acquired the copyright rights from the person who created the work.

Which makes the situation around the photographer who had his camera lifted by a monkey ... and who then proceeded to snap a wonderful self-portrait .... so damn interesting, especially to those of us interested in copyrights.

In fact, as soon as I saw this image, I went to make it my Facebook profile photo. Which, of course, I shouldn't do - I don't own the image. And it took Facebook reminding me of this fact for me to actually stop from doing it. But the question is: who holds the copyright to the image?

The ownership of the photograph itself is clear: it's the photographer (and perhaps the wire news service that paid the photographer for the photo). But copyright doesn't automatically transfer with the ownership of the tangible item - again, copyright is a weird creature and unless you're willing to dive down the moral rights rabbit hole with me tonight, just accept what I tell you as fact and look it up later.

Copyright, however, requires an "author" ... and per US law (17 USC), an author can only be a "natural person" or a "juridicial person" (a corporation, etc). A monkey (or other animal) doesn't fit into either category and is thus unable to hold copyright. The result is that there now exists a legal quandary. Who (if anyone) holds copyright?

The law is pretty clear at the moment (and, in fact, is being used as yet another example of how copyright law is outdated and needs to be revised for the 21st century - but really, do picture-taking monkeys only exist in the 21st century?). However, the news agency seems to assert that copying is at least uncool if not illegal. Which is going to prompt someone to eventually sue.

This is one to watch, folks. The outcome could get interesting.

House Dating

2011-07-04T12:56:00.002-04:00

In case you haven't seen my posts on the topic before, Tina and I are looking for a new home. Cam's getting to the age where he needs more space (and I would like an office that isn't also a bedroom). So we've spent the better part of a year fixing the things that needed fixing... and making the house a curb-appeal rockstar.

Meanwhile, we're sorta' looking, too (no, we're not dumb enough to want to try to have two mortgages - no thank you). But if we get an offer, we need to be prepared. So we've keep a running list of a few potential properties that we'd like to go see in the event things work out for us. A few days ago, things started to look like they would.

So we took 3 hours out of our realtor's Fourth of July weekend to go house hunting yesterday. I have to say that I'm pretty disappointed overall... and I think it has to do with some central tenants/laws/rules about selling homes that really closely pair with rules for dating.

1. Set expectations properly. When you're dating, especially online, the first thing most people show is their photo. As a guy, I can tell you that if you are looking through a screen of women and all you see is a head, the first question you have is about the body.

Homes are the same. If you show the inside, but no exterior shots - my first thought is that there's something wrong with the outside. Additionally, when you DO show photos of the outside, don't take a photo from a weird angle to use some form of forced perspective to make it no longer appear that you have a 200' vertical elevation drop from the street to your garage. The minute I see that in real life, I'm not even going to look inside your home (which will become more important to you, the seller, in a minute).

Also - if you post a sign or have a request that I take of my shoes when entering, you'd better well have your place looking like a "no shoes" home. By that, I mean:

you'd better not be a smoker and have cigarette butts outside or smoke smell inside
your floors had better be immaculately clean (my white socks will tell me the story in a minute)
you probably shouldn't have a dog - especially one that requires food and water bowls in the kitchen AND in your master bathroom... and where you've picked up the slopped food around the bowls, too

All in all, if you ask me to remove my shoes, I will have enough respect for you to do it - even though I don't know you. But if you've wasted my time AND I've felt just a little weird walking bare or stocking-footed through your home, you can bet I'm not putting an offer on your place.

So, set expectations properly.

2. Know your price range. Look, I know that nobody wants to admit when someone is "out of their league" but the truth of the matter is that not everyone fits well with everyone else romantically. Try as hard as you might, but Penny and Leonard just aren't meant to be together long term (besides, Pria is a better match). Granted, I have NOTHING against Penny. She's just not going to be able to hang with Leonard's crowd (or vice versa for that matter - even though Leonard really wants to).

For houses, if you price your home based on what you feel it's worth, and not based on what it's actually worth given its location and condition, don't expect to get what you want out of it. Real estate is already incredibly volatile and fickle. Our current home was headed on a 5+%/year increase trajectory at the point when we bought it. Which means that today, I should be able to get 128% of what I paid for it. Wanna' guess if that's what the housing market says it's worth? Of course it's not. The market took a header and down went my hopes of ever seeing the 100% increase prior owners of this same house did.

When you price your home and then scoff at the offers that come in, take a moment to think about whether the home is worth what you're asking. What makes it worth that? Is it immaculate? Does it have a big backyard with a fence? Is it on a quiet street in a good neighborhood? Does it still have any builder brass or builder slab fixtures?

I'm not going to pay for potential. I'm going to pay for what is.

3. The corollary to #2 is: Don't believe your own hype. Yes, I know you're awesome and your mother thinks you're awesome, too. What does your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend think? Would they start your personal ad with all caps: "STUNNING HOME (guy/girl) IN & IS PICTURE PERFECT"?

No?

Right. Why? Well, first, all caps is shouting. But beyond that, people won't describe themselves as perfect (and usually not stunning). Which is why, in real estate, we have agents. House Pimps. They're there to market the heck out of something that isn't all that. And, like lawyers, we tend to dislike all of them other than our own. [Speaking of which, our agent is awesome. If you ever need someone in Raleigh, let us know and we'll connect you.]

But when you believe the House Pimp Hype, you're forgetting that there's a reason why you no longer want to live there. Part of that forgetting allows you to move... the other part makes you want to sell for more than it's worth (See #2 above). More importantly, however, it creates a disconnect between reality and fantasy. At the end of the day, I'm buying a house and I'm going to have to work to turn it into a home. Drop your hype and figure out what it is about the house that lends itself to becoming a home.

The same, of course, is true for dating - you become a great catch when you realize what you have that's useful to someone else. But this is really the subject of a whole other post (and a book that I'm working on).

4. Don't waste my time. Actually, all of these rules come together to support this final rule. If you waste my time, you're never going to get my interest. If I have to figure out the "real you" in dating or the "real deal" on the house, that's wasting my time. And given the amount of technology at our disposal these days to find out a lot of the story early on in the "relationship", don't be surprised that if you try to fool me to get me close and when I am and see you for what you are ... that I run.

Yesterday, we saw the 200' vertical drop house in person. Photos made it look great, but there was no way that we would ever make it up and onto the street in a Raleigh winter with a little ice or freezing rain. So we didn't bother to even look inside the house. There was no way to fix this issue.

Some people probably don't care about things like that (heck, the house isn't brand new, so theoretically, several people haven't been bothered by it). But deceiving me enough to drive out to BFE to see it in person just pissed me off. So I cancelled my showing slot. Which, if you're like me, meant that you had been forced out of your house during my slot and now have nothing to show for it.

On the flip side... don't make a showing appointment with me and then cancel mid-way through the time. I've had to pack Cam into the car... maybe even wake him from a nap a little early. All told, a huge inconvenience. I've been completely honest in my listing and photos so there's nothing unexpected about what you'll see when you arrive. So don't bail on me now. Because, as with dating, I can find out who you are (or who your House Pimp is)... and I can promise that if you call back later, I won't be pleasant to deal with. :)

Fear Factor

2011-07-02T09:32:00.006-04:00

I like writing about funny things. Recalling the moment of humor and the setup for how it all transpired is incredibly satisfying when I can do it so that others find the funny, too. Life, of course, isn't always fun and games. As a parent, the feeling I feel when looking at Cameron more often then anything else, second only to unbridled joy is abject terror.

Which, if you know me, isn't like me. I'm not really afraid of anything. Snakes, spiders, the dark... even buying feminine hygiene products alone. Nothing bothers me that much. But I worry about Cameron. I worry about him getting sick or injured. I worry about his life and his future. I worry about whether he'll have good friends. I worry about whether he'll want to have a family of his own and whether, once he's grown up, he'll look back on his childhood with fondness.

I suppose these are the worries any parent has with regards to their children. But with only a 16mo old, I don't really hear anyone else talking about it. Granted, that could be because I work out of my house and all of my coworkers are hundreds or thousands of miles away. It could also be because Cam's just too young for me to stress out about these things quite yet.

However, I don't think I'm really stressing. There's a difference between stressing and worrying. I don't lay awake at night. I don't get cold sweats. I don't hyperventilate. At least not yet.

I don't stress because I know that he's got a loving home. He's got 2 parents who will do anything for him. He's got 6 grandparents that love him, too. He's got a nanny who smiles as big as he does every morning she walks in the door. And he's got a large family and friend network that he doesn't even yet realize is there, too.

On the other hand, I worry because I want to be a good dad. Sure, I want to be the cool dad. But I also want to be the dad that he can come to with serious questions and discuss deep topics without fear of judgement or ridicule. I want to be the dad he wants to bring to show and tell. I want to be the dad he wants to play with. I want to be the dad and man he wants to eventually be.

When Cam was born, his grandma gave me a laminated poem. It was written by John Wooden, late coach of the UCLA Bruins. It's a wonderful reminder for both dad's and mom's and sets a great expectation. I hope I can meet it.

The Little Chap Who Follows Me
A careful man I ought to be,
A little fellow follows me,
I do not dare to go astray
For fear he'll go the selfsame way.

I cannot once escape his eyes,
Whate'er he sees me do, he tries;
Like me, he says, he's going to be,
The little chap who follows me.

He thinks that I am good and fine,
Believes in every word of mine
The base in me he must not see,
The little chap who follows me.

I must remember as I go,
Through summer's fun and winter's snow,
In building for the years to be
The little chap who follows me!

Baby Crack

2011-06-30T09:32:00.000-04:00

A few days ago, I wrote about Cameron and baby crack. These are the talismans for every parent. Things that they can do that will instantly affect their child's behavior (usually to distract the kid from whatever has currently got them wound up).

For Cam, one baby crack item is Elmo. He just loves the voice (the PoE). Curiously, he hasn't yet put together the voice and the image. So when we took him to the mall a week or so ago and he saw a wall of Elmo's - no reaction at all. But press Elmo's hand on one of these digitally-enhanced stuffed animals and poof: a smile on Cam's face that simply beams.

But Cam has a few other items that are just as transformative. And in our house, you can guess that it didn't take long to figure out that the telephone is one of those things.

You all know that I'm a geek. Including work-related numbers, there are five different phone numbers you can dial right now that will ring on either my left or right hip (no, please don't try). So it should be no surprise that I have my cell phones on me almost constantly. Add in Tina to the mix and there are now several phones that tempt Cam with their bright buttons.

Cameron, of course, pays attention to them. Almost from birth, he's just a little more tan than any other child his age from the proximity to the glow of a Blackberry or iPhone. We didn't actually intend for this to happen, of course... but we use our phones a lot for work and I have my own addiction to my iPhone. The result is that he wants what we pay attention to... and besides, isn't a Blackberry just a cool device to play with?

Now, Cameron greets most toys with an open mouth hug. Phones are no exception, which is good for neither him nor the phone itself. But after the initial desire to eat it comes the desire to push the buttons - especially on Blackberries (he is just now realizing the iPhone has a reactive screen). And he does so with aplomb.

This is troublesome because phones aren't cheap. So I figured I'd get him his own to play with. Visiting the local Verizon store, I was informed that they don't have any old demo phones that they can give away. Apparently all of theirs are real and have to be returned upon retirement. But the Verizon rep said that he'd worked at Radio Shack and that they always had dozens of non-working examples in the store that were no longer on display.

Perfect.

So the next time I was near Radio Shack, I stopped in. Unbelievably, the Verizon rep was right. This store had more than 30 phones for me to choose from! Picking a Blackberry that looked like mom and dad's but wasn't exactly the same color, I thought this would give Cam the best of both worlds: something he could play with and something that wouldn't use my cell phone minutes to dial Antarctica.

I brought it home and proceeded to bathe it with Clorox wipes. Figuring that it had been held by hundreds of people who didn't wash their hands after going to the bathroom, I almost decided to dunk it in bleach. But I wiped it and let it dry about a dozen times (not exaggerating). I then made sure that it was completely solid and nothing could come off it (the battery door was already glued shut).

Approaching Cam's room where he was playing with his nanny, I called out "guess what Dad got you?" as I walked into the room holding the Blackberry in front of me. Cam stopped what he was doing when he saw it. Momentarily frozen in place with sheer excitement, I could see the facial transformation as his smile lit up. In what I think was as close to a run as he could get, he charged.

Grabbing the Blackberry out of my hands, he proceeded to press the buttons with such rapidity, I thought for a moment that he was a crazed rat in a Skinner box looking for a food pellet from an empty chamber.

I let him have the Blackberry for about an hour before I decided that it was too much. He wasn't letting go. He wasn't playing with any other toys. He wasn't responding to verbal enticements from his nanny or me. He appeared not to be interested in food, either. All he wanted was to press the buttons. Baby crack, indeed.

So now I've got Cameron's Kryptonite. I just don't know how I can ethically use it.

Shibboleth

2011-06-28T09:32:00.000-04:00

A few years ago, I blogged, asking for the secret password to get past Tier 0-level customer service "technicians". In fact, I'd even really forgotten about posting this request until I was revamping the site for my current return after a year+ hiatus.

Randall Munroe over at xkcd, as usual, read my mind:

Oh, and if you don't understand the shibboleth reference, watch this clip from my favorite TV show, The West Wing (sorry, couldn't embed).

Meltdown

2011-06-26T20:45:00.003-04:00

There are a lot of things you do as a parent that, had someone told me I was going to do before Cameron was born, I would've never believed. Singing, dancing and talking in a high-pitched voice are just the beginning. Changing explosive diapers (you never saw poo like this before) is another. But perhaps the most challenging thing as a parent is getting your child to be calm when they're losing their cool.

Interestingly enough, most parents learn to tune out their own child's particular brand of whining. It's a defense mechanism, I suppose. If we weren't able to ignore it, there would, unfortunately, be more incidents of infanticide. Cruel? Absolutely. True? You betcha'.

In fact, there was event a recent study done that whining is, in fact, the worst sound known to mankind. Thankfully, it is at those moments when you also get to see parents at their absolute best. The creativity can be astounding. For the most part, though, they'll cajole, convince and yes, even bribe.

So what can you do with a 16mo old who barely understands what you're trying to tell him? Well, you start with toys. It's ugly, but bribery is first on the list. Core to this is the belief that the child's frustration is centered on the desire for something they don't currently have. So you think it's a toy and you'll give them ANYTHING if they'd just stop screaming.

Driving down the highway with Cameron in his carseat today was no different. He started to fuss and without taking both hands off the wheel (and without looking at him, either - a learned skill I never really thought I would need), I reached back, grabbed one of several "car toys" and placed it in his lap. You could hear it a few seconds later, bouncing off the back of the seat in front of him.

Nope... that wasn't the toy he wanted.

No problem - I'm prepared. I have more.

Thud.

Crap. Not that one either.

OK. Maybe I can tickle him to take his mind off whatever's got him frustrated. Still driving one-handed... still always looking at the road, I reach back and start with his feet. Tickling up his leg and onto his chest, I'm not getting any love in return. In fact, the screaming is getting worse.

Tina finally decides that maybe he just needs to be entertained (Yeah, remember Tina? She was sitting in the front passenger seat the whole time. Would've been nice if she'd helped the driver. But whatever. She was helping now.). Her idea? A napkin.

Somewhere, in the distance, I heard a 1950's comedic rim-shot. A napkin. Pshaw.

Do you know how many problems there are with giving a little boy a napkin? The first place it's going to go is into his mouth. Then we've got wet napkin. Wet napkin in the car, on his carseat, in his mouth. Which leads to wet napkin in his hair, under his fingernails (yes, they have them), probably in his nose, too... in short, everywhere. Tina realized this after a few seconds, too, and decided that perhaps she should use the napkin to entertain Cameron.

Her plan? Napkin Ghost Puppet.

Napkin Ghost Puppet

Holy crap. It worked. I want to make fun of it, but I can't because it solved the problem. You don't even need me to tell you it was successful - you can simply see it in Cameron's face.

Flash forward a few hours later and we were back in the car. As it was close to dinner time and Cam again started the slow burn to complete meltdown. Given the time of day, we know this could get really ugly. So, we went straight for the jugular. We pulled out the baby crack and fed it to Cam like candy. Of course, I'm talking about the little red monster himself: Elmo.

I don't know what it is about the voice, but Cam could be (and has been) in full temper tantrum mode and Elmo's "la-la la-la" is the same as whipping out a Snausage in front of a golden retriever.

Crying? Over.
Volume? Silent.
Motion? Still.

And apparently parents everywhere know the Power of Elmo (PoE). From a recent episode of Cougar Town:

You just can't argue with the PoE.

Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of Elmo on my iPhone. It's my one iDevice I didn't have the full range of Elmo already installed and we really needed it. Do you know what happens when you give a baby crack addict a taste of the good stuff and then don't have any more? Yeah, it's not pretty. Luckily we were close to home and got him fed and in bed just in the nick of time.

So I'm off to go load the rest of our Elmo collection onto my iPhone. In the meantime, if you have other baby crack items that you're willing to share, we're willing to try them out. Put them in the comments to share.

My kingdom for a seat

2011-06-25T13:37:00.003-04:00

I'm flying a lot these days for work. I actually love to travel - and even love the "airport experience". So it's not the huge inconvenience that others find it to be. When I started traveling more, I purposefully chose Delta to be my air carrier of choice. I wanted to rack up frequent flyer miles and eventually achieve "status" - that little thing that helps get you upgrades and other perks for being seen as a truly "frequent" flyer.

Sho' nuff, it only took a few months before I'd reached Gold Medallion status. This is the second of four tiers in the Delta Medallion program. I've got nothing on the folks who have Platinum or Diamond status, but getting a first-class upgrade every now and again is pretty nice. But it doesn't always happen, and it surely doesn't happen on planes where there is no first class, such as my flight the other day returning from St. Louis.

The plane was a CRJ-50. If you've ever been on one, you'd know. People over 6' tall have to stoop to walk the aisle. People more than 2' wide have to virtually walk sideways. The seats are all leather, which I suppose is alright... but they're not exactly made for large individuals, either. It was with extreme fear that I saw a large gentleman moving towards my row and a confirmation of that fear as he pointed to the window seat next to me.

These days, that's the indicator that you (the person in the aisle seat) has to move to make way. No "hey, I'm sitting there, can you please move?" or "Hi - looks like I have the seat next to you." Rather - it's just a point and a grunt. But ok. Whatever. I can understand traveler sign language (TSL).

As I stood up, I dropped the armrest between the seats. This is also TSL - it means: you stay on your side of the row and I'll stay on mine. Or, in other words: DON'T TOUCH ME. I knew we were going to have a problem as he lifted it out of the way as he moved into his seat.

Actually, he didn't have a choice. He was now using 100% of his seat... and 25% of mine. Ugh. This was going to suck. 2.25 hours from St. Louis to Raleigh. I wanted to move - and I thought about going up to the flight attendant and suggesting that I should get 100% of my seat for the price I paid for it. But remember those small aisles? Well, between the other passengers boarding and my desire to get home quickly, I simply didn't want to make a stink. God knows that the person who complains is more likely to find themselves a guest of the TSA for a little while.

So I kept my seat - leaning into the aisle the whole trip home. I was getting more and more pissed off at each passing moment. Upon arrival at RDU, I found the gate agent and asked for the Station Manager. This is the person who has ultimate control of all things airline-related at your particular terminal. The gate agent informed me that the Station Manager wasn't present (it was, after all, 9:30pm), but that they were a red-vest and could handle whatever issue I threw at them.

I said "ok" fine - I wanted compensation for the trip as a result of not getting the full seat that I'd paid for. I was forceful, but calm. Direct but not demanding. I simply indicated that I didn't believe that I should have to pay for a full seat when I didn't get one.

RedVest's first response was that I should've let someone know before leaving STL.

"Wait. It's MY responsibility to tell you when I clearly don't have my seat to myself?", I asked.

Well, he said... sorta'. He explained that I should've asked the flight attendant to reseat me and that had they been unable to do so, that they would've asked the other passenger to get off the plane or buy a second seat.

I was nonplussed. I again suggested compensation. RedVest offered a $50 travel voucher. I demurred and suggested that there was a) more that he could do for me; and, b) that I wasn't going to leave until he was able to do something more - as I knew that while he suggested I call Delta Customer Service when I got home, that leaving the airport was giving up leverage. So I stayed put and started talking with him in a more collegial tone. Commiserating about the crowds, stupid travelers, "real" problems, etcetera.

Finally, he asked to look up my account to see what he could offer. I was a little shocked (though I shouldn't have been) at the amount of data he had access to about me. He asked if I was going to be taking any more flights in the near future and I said I was, but I hadn't booked them yet. So he pondered his navel for a little while and then suggested that he could offer me some frequent flyer miles.

In the Delta system, there are two types of miles. Miles you can use to redeem for future stuff... and miles that count towards your Medallion status level. I, as you can imagine, am not really interested in redeeming miles for more time on airplanes. So I asked him in a good natured way whether they were Medallion Qualifying Miles (MQM's) - their official term for the "good" miles. He gently laughed in commiseration with my assessment of the situation as he indicated that they weren't. Bummer.

Again, he went back to contemplating the nature of the universe and suggested that well, perhaps he could do miles plus something else. "Like what?", I asked. He then told me that he could do a one-way class upgrade that I could redeem for any future flight - guarantying a first-class seat when my normal status didn't/can't get it for me (such as on virtually any flight from Atlanta). OK, now we're getting somewhere.

So I said, ok... let's do a package. Make it work for me. And he proceeded to print out the materials granting me the one-way upgrade.

Then we turned back to the miles. He offered 5,000. I said come on... how many miles does it take, at minimum, to get somewhere? 25,000. Right... so 5,000 gets me what? Nothing. He responded, ok... how about 7,500. I paused and said, point blank "We need to hit 5 digits. You can do 10,000."

It was his turn to pause. "OK... 10,000. But I can't do anymore." He printed out the card granting me the 10,000 miles (which I think we're going to use to go to London... but that's a story for another day).

Right as he handed it to me, I said, "OK... now we can do that $50 travel voucher."

He was taken aback. "What? I can't do that."

"Sure you can... we were talking about a package. I just spent 2.25 hours leaning into the aisle, getting hit by the flight attendant EVERY SINGLE TIME SHE WALKED BY. You can do the voucher. Give me the package.", I said, almost invoking the Jerry Maguire "Show me the money." tone.

And as it was printing, RedVest lamented that he was going to get a call about it in the morning. As I walked away, thanking him for his help, I just told him to tell his boss that he was dealing with a professional negotiator.

What I think I really need is a tagline I can say after I've gotten my way. "You've been negotiated..." just sounds too cheesy.

You don't want to be a BB&T customer

2009-09-14T20:34:00.003-04:00

Over the last 4 or so years, I've had a pretty non-eventful relationship with BB&T as they serviced my car loan.

But I'm at the end of the loan now, and while my account has been on autodraft for the ENTIRETY of the loan, I received a post card the other day telling me that the last payment couldn't be made via autodraft and that I'd have to "pay the amt due to avoid extra charges."

The following is my attempt to pay:

Looked on the postcard for an address to which I could send payment. Nothing here.
Looked on the postcard for a phone number to call to ask about payment. Nothing here.
Called the 800# on the BB&T website. No option to talk with a CS rep.
Called the 800# on the BB&T website and tried to use the account info area to break through - but I don't have a PIN (haven't needed one for the entirety of the loan). So I can't see what other options might be available to me. No dice.
Called the Loan-specific 888# on the BB&T website. Nope, still need the PIN.
Looked online to see if I could pay the last payment that way. Nope.
Called the 800# again to see if there was a "request a PIN" option. Requested a PIN - it'll be sent via US mail in 7-10 days. So effectively, nope.

So tomorrow I'm going to have to GO TO A BRANCH to pay off this loan... and believe me, I'm going to pay it off in full.

I expect that this is a tactic to:

get additional interest fees from unsuspecting customers
force customers to come into a branch to get an upsell

What's it's done is SO turn me off of BB&T that I vow to never use them for anything else ever again ... and encourage you to transfer anything you have with them to another more attentive, customer-focused bank.

Oh, and if any of my readers happen to be BB&T employees - feel free to pass this note along to anyone SVP or higher in charge of customer service. This was EXACTLY the type of experience that causes people to hate banks!

Photos

2009-03-20T20:36:00.003-04:00

Well, after some hemming and hawing, I decided to finally upload some of my favorite photos that I've taken and combine them into a photo blog of sorts.

So, visit http://photos.jeffreygordon.net and see what my camera can do.

I don't claim to be a professional, but some are pretty good, if I do say so myself. :)

Don't eff with Jon Stewart

2009-03-05T16:33:00.000-05:00

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

CNBC Gives Financial Advice

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Joke of the Day

Thanks to QuizLaw for this.

Catch 22

2008-12-13T21:07:00.002-05:00

So, in the Star Trek series, the red shirt-wearing folks are the ones who invariably die on every mission.

But what would happen if it was an away mission where they were fighting the Star Wars Storm Troopers, who seem to be unable to hit the broad-side of a barn?

:)

Lucky Penguin... Stupid Humans

2008-11-30T09:48:00.001-05:00

Awesome

2008-10-30T22:04:00.001-04:00

Mad Simpsons

2008-10-30T07:21:00.002-04:00

I love the AMC show Mad Men. I don't know what it is really... the 60s outfits, the fact that people are pretty much allowed to do anything at work or the cool opening sequence... I think it's the opening sequence. Which is why the Simpson's spoof of the opening for their Halloween special this year is awesome:

TSA and Travel

2008-10-18T10:18:00.001-04:00

I travel a lot.

This freaks me out - and it's what *I* think about when I'm sitting on the runway, hoping I successfully make it to my destination and back.

Literal Take on Me

2008-10-09T22:55:00.001-04:00

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Embarq Advertisement for Free TV

2008-10-03T22:37:00.004-04:00

I'm sure you've seen it or heard it. I'm talking about the Embarq advertisement for free TV.

Obviously it's a popular ad.

But what's the appeal? I simply don't know. What bugs me most, however, is the little ditty "they don't call her Queen Tut, for nothin'"

It's about her being made of gold and calling her Queen Tut. Anyone else see the problem?

RIIIIIGHT. It's King Midas who was tied to gold, not Tut! So "Queen Tut" doesn't make any sense at all. Even the fact that King Tut was buried in a coffin made of gold doesn't validate the ad. I wouldn't buy Embarq now if for no other reason than their misappropriation of history. Get it right if you're gonna' hang your hat on it.

So, while I'm hip with the various dopey yet catchy freecreditreport.com jingles, the Embarq one just irks me.

Kevin Smith Protests Dogma

2008-09-16T22:26:00.002-04:00

OK. So regardless of what you might think about Kevin Smith, or Dogma, the movie he wrote and directed (and played Silent Bob in), this is pretty funny:

Updates on a few of the things I've written about

2008-08-10T09:17:00.003-04:00

Well, it's not like I'm some sort of prescient person and know what the world is really thinking about... but there have been a few instances of things I write about in the last few months actually capturing some amount of world-wide attention. So this post is simply a note to the file on what happened.

Randy Pausch
Remember the post from a few months ago about the Last Lecture? Randy was diagnosed with cancer, fought a hell of a fight and along the way, delivered what many people consider to be the greatest inspirational speech of all time. He died on July 25, 2008. It's not only a tragedy for his wife and children... but also for the millions of people he was able (and will continue) to inspire.

McFly Nikes
Much less important than Randy, Nike actually responded to the cultural request of my generation and has released the Hyperdunks's. Here is info. And more info. And even more. Awesome. Now people are working on the auto-lacing mechanism.

Pandering to my Generation
Songs from the 80s continue to permeate the current cultural zeitgeist. Which isn't really saying much. In fact, with the Olympics on TV, I get the same round of commercials over and over and over and over and... oops, sorry. Stuck in a loop.

Anyways, what I was saying is that I get to see a lot of the same commercials. One of them is for JC Penny. The commercial's background music is Simple Minds' classic "Don't You (forget about me)" from one of my favorite movies, The Breakfast Club. The kids in the commercial are reenacting several of the scenes from the movie - and I turn to Tina and ask - "so, do you think the director had to explain to them: OK... now I want you to run down this hallway really fast, then do a floor-slide past the turn and run back towards the camera? Or do you think he just showed them the movie?"

But commercials aren't the only things participating in this recycling lifestyle. I actually saved money by getting digital cable the other day... which now gives me access to all of my favorite shows from my formative years. Emergency!, CHiPs, Quincy, Kojak, A-Team, Knight Rider (though the new series starts on 9/24!!!). But I realized that these shows, while all cutesily fatally flawed (it's really funny to see some of the "procedures" performed by John and Roy on Emergency! and compare them to what I learned as an EMT 19 years later), are really the genesis for almost all of TV today:

Emergency! is now ER or any other hospital/ambulance show
Quincy is CSI before they realized that people WANT to see the science
Kojak is The Shield; and Barney Miller is The Closer, Law and Order and any other cop show
A-Team is Burn Notice
Brady Bunch is now Jon & Kate Plus 8 (why invent what really exists?)
Knight Rider is now Knight Rider (some things have to be cloned exactly)

'llectuals

2008-08-08T14:07:00.003-04:00

I grew up watching all sorts of shows about people my age trying to deal with life. The Facts of Life, 90201, then on to Melrose Place and Friends. Most of these shows had a fatal flaw. They were populated by self-centered, narcissistic, vapid characters.

Well, no more. Now's there's 'llectuals.

Presenting Stephen King's "N."

2008-07-28T17:35:00.001-04:00

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Toys

2008-07-25T10:55:00.002-04:00

One of my favorite toys as a child (and yes, even as an adult), is Lego. The bricks are great fun for stress relief and they require at least some amount of imagination. I have sets back from the early 70s all the way to a pristine, in-the-box collection of all of the Harry Potter-related sets (I don't know why I'm keeping them in the box, other than to say I have them... maybe I'd let my kids play with them?).

But the toy villain from my youth has got to be the Rubik's Cube. They musta' released a billion versions of that thing in the 80s. And if 9 squares/side wasn't bad enough in about 10 different sizes (from microscopically small to desk-size large), the 12 square/side version (Rubik's Revenge, I believe it was called) was awful. Then they released them in ball-shaped versions, triangle-shaped versions... even a thing called the snake.

So I'm quite happy to see that someone took the time to build a Lego Mindstorms (computer-controlled Legos) set that is designed to solve a Rubik's Cube. It works by color-reading each side, generating a solution set and executing it. Check it out:

Flashpoint TV Show

2008-07-18T22:31:00.002-04:00

There's a new show on CBS called Flashpoint. It's about hostage negotiators and snipers.

Now... I'm into negotiation, so you'd think that I'd love this show. I mean sure, the technology is cool - I wouldn't mind having someone assist every now and again with a voice in my ear while I'm in the middle of a negotiation... but the rest of the show just drags on.

To be honest, I was hoping for a little less talky-talky and a little more shooty-shooty.

Miss Universe Pageant Curse

2008-07-13T22:23:00.005-04:00

So, tonight I was watching the 2008 Miss Universe pageant on TV (don't ask, it was the only thing on). Apparently, tonight was near the end, so there were 8 or so women left - evening gown competition time. Miss USA tripped down the initial step and fell flat on her butt. She was poised, got back up and kept moving as if it never happened.

Tina immediately wondered aloud how long it would take for video to appear on YouTube. So I went to look. Nope... not yet.

UPDATE (7/14/08): Video is now posted:

BUT, there WERE other videos of Miss USA 2007 at the Miss Universe 2007 pageant also falling on her butt.

So, two years in a row, the Miss USA contestant falls at the Miss Universe pageant during the evening gown portion of the event. Doesn't this qualify for some sort of curse, chant or other superstition?

More on Apple and customer service

2008-07-01T08:17:00.004-04:00

About 2 years ago, I wrote a story about getting my PowerBook G4 fixed as a result of a hinge problem. At the time, I was indignant that Apple had a known defect in their product and wouldn't repair it for me. I spent some time in the AppleStore in Durham, NC (this was before the one in Raleigh opened) trying to see if they would assist under warranty... and they didn't. So my post was a result of my frustration at trying to get help for something I thought Apple should've taken care of, yet didn't.

However, I didn't lose my cool at the AppleStore, on the phone with Apple or anywhere else. If anything, I was mostly upset with myself and sad that I was going to have to pay a few hundred dollars for something I knew I was going to replace relatively soon.

Today I saw a post on Gizmodo about another guy who "Lost his S#?!" at the AppleStore in DC. It linked to a comic he wrote about the experience. (The comic is safe, but the comments afterwards are a little NSFW, so view this at home and away from young eyes).

Essentially, the guy had a very similar machine that I used to have... and he wanted to install a wireless card in it after purchase. He was upset that the screws on the machine weren't "standard" (they're TORX, which are, as you'll see from reading the comments, standard) and that he says he had trouble finding them at various stores (which people in the comments refute). He was upset that Apple wouldn't give him a screwdriver in the AppleStore to fix his own machine (for the same reasons that your auto mechanic won't let you use their tools to fix your car).

He ultimately lost his cool at the AppleStore and wrote the comic as a way to vent.

Now, per my other missives above, I do understand venting. I also understand being frustrated by a situation that I believe is somehow unfair.

But I do NOT take it out on others (Tina may disagree, since she hears me at home). So let me clarify... I don't take it out on the customer service person who really doesn't have much control over the situation.

[Update - about 3 seconds after hitting Publish]: OK... so I realize that by posting this little story, I'm probably perpetuating something that should just die. And, as Tina reminds me (man, I really love this girl) arguing with everyone I ever disagreed with isn't productive. Which, in turn, reminded me of one of my favorite comic artists of all time. So I'm converting this post from a semi-rant to a positive suggestion for you all to read XKCD.com on a regular basis. Here's one of Randall's drawings, completely on point.

Knight Rider GPS

2008-06-26T11:31:00.002-04:00

If you were born in the 70s, grew up in the 80s and were male... you LOVED Knight Rider. The Hoff wasn't a dweeb yet (we had no idea he wanted to sing). KITT (the car) was awesome - and so was Bonnie. But I digress.

Mio just released their Knight Rider GPS - which comes STANDARD with William Daniels as the voice of this turn-by-turn speaking device.

Sweet! Hey Tina!!! I want one. My birthday is coming in a few months! :)

Followup on Stolen Credit Card

2008-06-20T11:02:00.002-04:00

I waited a few months before writing this... mostly because I was busy, but partially because I wanted to see how it all played out.

The long-story-short version of the stolen credit card saga is that one of the drivers of the limo service we used in Orlando was the culprit. They used the card to charge their household bills on (not very bright)... and they confessed once cornered.

I still need to followup with the DA on the case, as I asked to press charges. So we'll see what happens. So far, no restitution or anything like that.

Again and Again

2008-05-11T11:44:00.004-04:00

The new video for Again and Again by The Bird and The Bee. If you're not a Mac user, you might not notice all of the intricacies of the movement through the Mac operating system... but you should still find the video interesting.

Psycho Ex Girlfriend

2008-05-09T07:08:00.000-04:00

It's 2:31 AM. The Democratic Party is sleeping peacefully when it hears its phone buzz on the night stand. It rolls over and sees "Hillary" on the caller ID. It pauses briefly, considering pushing "END" and not dealing with this shit tonight. The thought is appealing but the Democratic Party knows that if it doesn't take this call, another one is only minutes away.

DEMS: ...Hello?

Hillary: Hey baby.

DEMS: C'mon Hillary. Enough with this.

Hillary: Don't you get it? You NEED me.

DEMS: No, I don't. It was fun while it lasted but I'm with Barack now. I made my choice, it's done.

Hillary: You can't really mean that. How can you say that after all the good times we had?

... continued at: http://madatoms.com/2008/05/edit-hillary-clinton-psycho-ex.html

The Mole - Subliminal Advertising?

2008-04-20T22:47:00.002-04:00

Back in 2001, ABC television launched a new reality gameshow called "The Mole."

The concept was simple... play a game to win money, but try to figure out who is trying to sabotage the game (thus reducing the amount of money available to win). Each week, players would attempt to identify the Mole - and eliminate those that they thought WERE the Mole.

There were two sequels, Mole 2 and Celebrity Mole (if I remember correctly, Stephen Baldwin was the best Mole ever). In any event, I'd pretty much forgotten about the show until a few weeks ago.

It's no secret that I have Tivo and love skipping commercials. But even with a great trigger finger, I still usually have to pop back with just a few seconds left before the end of the commercial break. And a few weeks ago, I caught sight of a single dark frame with "the mole was here" written on it during Lost. I didn't think much of it... thinking that maybe someone was just playing around and messed something up.

But I'm watching Brothers and Sisters right now... and here it is again at the 21 minute mark.

A quick jump to IMDB says that it looks like they're doing a new "season" in 2008. And Wikipedia confirms what I'm seeing, too, as an advertisement for the Mole.

But how is this not subliminal advertising? I think the argument is that it's actually consciously visible (ie: you actually KNOW that you're seeing the logo and words) and thus it's not actually subliminal.

I don't know that I buy that, though. Any experts in advertising law out there?

The Last Lecture

2008-03-26T18:13:00.000-04:00

Jeff Vader

2008-03-18T23:57:00.001-04:00

The Force, Daddy-O

2008-03-03T20:14:00.000-05:00

McFly 2015 Project

2008-03-01T22:49:00.000-05:00

Too funny... just go and sign the petition:

http://www.mcfly2015.com/

And the gene pool just got a bit more murky

2008-02-28T07:27:00.001-05:00

Hmmm... lemme' guess. Now there are more women who actually WANT this guy, right?

Pandering to my generation

2008-02-17T12:44:00.002-05:00

I was walking with one of my MBA class teams through an open-air mall the other day (don't ask why... not relevant to the story). These types of malls always pipe-in music, and today's selection was "Maneater" by Hall & Oates. I mentioned that if getting older wasn't enough, I'd noticed that advertisers realized that I'm in my mid-thirty's too. I suppose they believe I have money to burn, because there are just WAY too many ads that use 80s music.

The lone female in the group says "So....... you must have all been born in the 70s, right?"

"Yes," we collectively reply. "When were you born?"

"1987."

Ouch.

Anyways, here's the list of songs that I've heard that are featured in various ads on TV and radio.

"All Out of Love" - Air Supply - Denny's Breakfast
"Blister in the Sun" - Violent Femmes - Wendy's
"Cruel Summer" - Bananarama - Kellog's Special K
"Da Da Da" - Trio - Volkswagen
"Don't You Want Me" - Human League - Chips Ahoy
"Final Countdown" - Europe - Nintendo Wii
"Hungry Like The Wolf" - Duran Duran - Old Spice (my personal favorite because it also has Bruce Campbell singing it at a piano)
"I Melt with You" - Modern English - Taco Bell Cheesy Melt
"I Melt with You" - Modern English - GMC Acadia
"I Want Candy" - Bow Wow Bow - Pringles
"Love My Way" - Psychedelic Furs - CBS Cold Case teaser
"Making Love Out of Nothing at All" - Air Supply - Wendy's
"Maniac" - Michael Sambello - Kia
"Money for Nothing" - Dire Straits - Toyota
"One Thing Leads to Another" - The Fixx - LendingTree
"Our House" - Madness - Maxwell House
"Over the Rainbow" - Israel Kamakawiwo Ole - eToys.com
"Rockit" - Herbie Hancock - Visa Checkcard
"Tainted Love" - Soft Cell - Levi's (ok, this one is from a few years ago, where they bring a pair of jeans back to live... but still)
"Talk" - Talk Talk - Cingular
"Tarzan Boy" - Baltimora - Listerine (also from a few years ago)
"We're Not Gonna Take It" - Twisted Sister - Bee Movie
"Whip It" - Devo - Pringle's Pack-It

What other songs have you heard that bring a smile to your face, but don't really cause you to go buy any of their products?

Try to look away... I dare you.

2007-11-27T18:25:00.000-05:00

Stolen Credit Card

2007-11-16T22:30:00.000-05:00

I hate opening the credit card bill. Yeah, I know what's in there - we're pretty good about keeping track of that stuff. But I don't like the REMINDER of what we've spent our money on each month. So I, in true guy fashion, let Tina open it. I rationalize that since she pays the bills, she can review it - besides, if I charged something I didn't tell her about, she'll come to me, never worry about that.

But I knew this month was going to be unusually bad - vacations and work trips, etc. So I hesitantly opened it when I got home tonight. I saw all the suspects. But then a few I wasn't expecting.

Hmmm. Ok, so the first thing I do is try to think if there was something I ordered online that I just wasn't remembering. But I happened to also glance another line down and fail to recognize FIVE OTHER charges.

Crap. Someone's using our card.

I'm on the phone with our credit card company in a matter of seconds. By "on the phone" I really mean "on hold"... where I sat for 20 minutes - long enough for Tina to arrive home and find me fuming on the couch.

When a customer "service" rep finally answered, it was like talking to someone who was on their first night on the phones. Now, I'm sorry, but you should know better than to put that new of a person (or that untrained of a person) on the fraud line. Not to mention the 20 minutes where I was sitting there wondering if this was the quickest response they could possibly muster for calls coming in to tell them about stolen credit cards.

So my short fuse bottomed out and I asked for a supervisor. Another 10 minutes on hold and I got a pleasant woman - who now wanted to REVERIFY my personal information. [I've written before about the problem I have with call processing systems and the fact that they should EASILY pass along my "personal information" to the rep... and even if they have to verify it once, they shouldn't have to do it again.]

But I gave them the info and then explained that I had six charges that weren't ours. I said I knew approximately where and when the card numbers were swiped based on the locations of the charges. So we systematically went through them all. Then we canceled the current card and had a new set express shipped.

Next up? Calling the police in the location where the cards were used. Long story short, I have a feeling that the thief is getting a visit from the local PD tonight. Serves them right - for being so stupid as to use the credit cards to pay their bills - charges that have their name associated with each charge. Phone, electricity, cable, insurance, and the obligatory Rent-A-Center charge. What a dumbass.

But hey, at least the credit card company has already credited our account. And yes, for those of you paying attention, Apple now knows to bill another account so that I still get my MBP on time. ;)

However, all of this is a real pain. I still have at least 2 other recurring charges I have to manage to track down and change. I still have to follow up with the po-po in the next few days... and I have to research the civil laws of the state where the fraud actually happened to see if I have any recourse other than to assist their prosecutor in a criminal case.

What a waste of a Friday night.

20 or so days til Disney

2007-09-29T21:24:00.001-04:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah... we're going again.

I can't wait.

I just wanted to tell someone.

Running for President

2007-09-09T09:39:00.000-04:00

Do you remember being young? Ok, forget the fact that you still want to believe that 30-50 is young. I mean, REALLY young... the first 10 years of your life. Everything was based on age and it seemed that there were SO many things to do just 1 year away.

Here's the list I can think of.

"When you're ____, you look forward to ____."

9 ... 10 (double digits)
10 ... 13 (being a teenager)
13 ... 16 (learning to drive)
17 ... 18 (being able to vote - and registering for the draft if you're male, because it's ok for you to die for your country, but don't have the maturity to drink quite yet)
19 ... 20 (no longer being a teenager - which by then is WAY ripe)
20 ... 21 (being able to buy alcohol)
21 ... 22 (actually being OLDER than 21)
22 ... 25 (quarter century, can now be a US Representative)
25 ... 29 (don't quite want to be 30 yet)
29 ... 30 (ok, now it's time to be an "adult", can now be a US Senator)
30 ... 35 (halfway to the current estimated average human lifespan, can now be President)
35 ... 40 (now it's just a fight against time)
40 ... 50 (the big "5-0")
50 ... 55 (something to be said about being as old as the speed limit - 70s/80s version)
55 ... 60 (getting ready to retire?)
60 ... 65 (1990s+ speedlimit issue again)
65 ... 70 (if you're still healthy, you're pretty happy, I would hope)
70 ... 80 (trying to outlast your children? Naah... just want to see another generation of your progeny)
80 ... 100 (ok, at this point, you're just trying to stay alive to meet Willard Scott)

So, in 3 days, guess which one is me. Yep... and I think I want to run for President!

Oh, and don't think I haven't thought about staying alive forever.

Time to make the 'puter

2007-08-25T14:37:00.000-04:00

I'm lucky that I have the type of career that lends itself to consulting. I'm also lucky enough to have a full-time gig that allows me to consult on the side (with some constraints). And I'm lucky enough that I have some folks that seek out my assistance on a pretty regular basis.

I say that I'm lucky because without the added income, I wouldn't be able to pay for many of my entertainment habits. Things like traveling, scuba diving, music/concerts, my guilty pleasure (PSP)... oh, and definitely not be able to afford a new computer.

Now, I'm not wasteful and I'm not always on the bleeding edge (as much as I would like to be). My existing laptop is a 5-year old Mac PowerBook G4, the so-called "TiBook." It's served me very well, aged well, traveled well... and has even survived hard drive replacement surgery about 8 months ago. But to be fair, that's a long time for a laptop (any laptop, for that matter).

I tend to be pretty good at making use of my computers. My first one was given to me as a gift in 1990 upon HS graduation. An IBM PS/2 Model 50Z (yep, that's it on the left). The thing was a real clunker about 6 months after it was purchased, it was outdated at the time of purchase as a result of IBM's own change in computer architecture (similar to the difference between having a leaded and unleaded automobile). But I made it last for three years.

I convinced my father to buy me a Compaq 850. A mini-tower (early in mini-tower designs), the Compaq seemed to scream compared to the IBM. I had the machine for about 2 years - when my love affair with Apple began.

Now, I've been an Apple fan for a long time. My dad bought us an Apple II back in the late 70s/early 80s, my brother had an SE/FDHD and then an LCII.

But I had never owned one. But I was working for the Valpo School District setting up hundreds of machines the summer before law school started and I simply fell head-over-heels with the intuitive user interface, the elegant design (keeping in mind that we're still talk about machines made in 1994) and the overall ease of use.

That year, Apple released the PowerBook 520c. From an industrial design perspective, many feel that the 520 was incredible. I was in love as soon as I got my hands on a school-owned one to set-up for the Superintendent. I didn't want to give it back. But at $2500, they weren't cheap and I didn't have that kind of cash.

A little begging and a written agreement later, a great friend agreed to loan me the money to buy it (thanks, Katherine A.). Man was I happy. A graphite body with a 9" color TFT (I believe) screen, two battery bays (which could be "exchanged" for other things), and a host of ports (SCSI, AppleTalk, Ethernet - which was relatively new at the time, serial, modem)... wow, I felt like I was the king!

Throughout law school, I plugged away on my 520. My classmates thought it was a joke, but I was able to do everything they were (perhaps with a little more effort). Even Lexis and Westlaw had Mac versions. As law school came to an end, the new WallStreet edition PowerBooks were out - HUGE (back then) screens at 12.1" and 14", sleek black designs with a large white apple etched in the lid... lust set in again, 3.5 (almost 4) years after I brought the 520 into my home.

Begging and pleading weren't necessary this time. I was about to start a job in 1998 which was going to require me to have a more powerful machine. The entire office was Mac-based, so it was easy to justify. I managed to use the machine through two full operating system upgrades (starting with System 8 then on to 9). I almost replaced it a few times along the way when Apple would release minor updates to the design.

First they made it thinner and more lightweight. They also "bronzed" the keyboard, which looked really cool. They added more memory, better processors, larger harddrives. Everything told me to buy one, but as had happened so many times in the past, I simply didn't have the cash.

In response, I added memory to my WallStreet. I bought a new battery or two (as it, like the 520, had two battery bays located under the keyboard - one of which would also accommodate an optical drive). I had started with the CD-ROM drive addon... and eventually got the DVD drive (and PCMCIA video processing card) instead. I maxed it out so to speak, but was devastated to learn that I wouldn't be able to install OSX on it when released by Apple... it just didn't have the power to run it well.

In late 2001, just as I felt I couldn't stand it any longer (since Apple had released the new TiBook design about a year earlier), I decided to take out an AppleLoan to buy myself one. The WallStreet was fading fast. Software was coming out for OSX instead of OS9 and I started feeling left behind far too much.

I selected a 500MHz TiBook with 512M of RAM and a 30GB harddrive. After a few hiccups with Apple, I eventually wound up with a 667MHz machine - and after spending a few more bucks, upped the RAM to a full Gig. Holy cow did this thing ROCK! It was beautiful, slippery almost. The apple on the lid even lit up (and was correctly oriented this time, as opposed to the logo on the WallStreet that was upside down when the lid was open and viewed from the back).

I vividly remember having to go to the UPS dropoff location to pick it up (as they wouldn't leave it at my house). I was so pissed - I could've had it a day earlier... but now I was going to get it on my way to an appointment. I grabbed it at the UPS location, immediately drove to BestBuy to get the additional RAM - and did a RAM swap in the front seat of my car! [Note: DO NOT DO THIS yourself. It was stupid of me to do - you can short out the memory via static buildup... I was just impatient and I knew better, but couldn't control myself. Don't be me.]

God I love that computer. But like it's predecessors, it's getting a bit long in the tooth and starting to show its age. The harddrive has just been the latest in a long list of things to be swapped, patched or replaced. It's needed new hinges, and on more than one occasion, I use Tina's clear nail polish to prevent more paint from wearing off from where my wrists rub the plastic repeatedly in front of the keyboard.

And oh, the lust. It began about a year ago. 17" screens on laptops! Can you believe it? Virtually double what I first had. Glossy displays that look almost fluid, combined with 2.4GHz Core2Duo processors (more than 8x faster than the TiBook).

Sigh.

I want one. I've wanted one for so long that Tina's virtually immune to my sighs. But she let on that if I had money that wasn't otherwise allocated to paying our budgeted bills (ie: from book sales, speaking or consulting engagements), I could save up and get a new computer. We even created a separate bank account to manage the "computer fund."

As you might imagine, every spare penny has been going into that account. As of a month ago, I was ready to buy. But now I can't.

See, Apple has a history of how they release machines. And in late May, early June, they released a "speed bump" to the current design (now called the MacBook Pro). Which indicates an interim patch until new designs are most likely expected to come out in January. If I were to buy a computer today and see a new design, or even faster ANYTHING in January, I'd cry - but only have myself to blame.

So I'm waiting. As patiently as I can.

Until then, if you see me with my TiBook (whose fan whines loudly when the processor is being overtaxed by all that I do on it), give it a small loving pat. It knows that the end is near, and I think it's crying. A little bit of me is, too. As it has for each of the hard-working Apples that have supported me.

Fair(y) Tale

2007-08-25T14:35:00.000-04:00

In this special crossover edition of Randomnocity with the Licensinghandbook Blog, take 10 minutes out of your busy day to watch the following "Fair(y) Use Tale" by Eric Faden. If you've ever wondered about copyright law and the fair use exception, there aren't many better ways to learn:

In Memoriam

2007-08-01T21:30:00.000-04:00

Michael Philip Gordon
September 7, 1976 - July 31, 2007
Michael Philip Gordon, 30, son of James and Anita Gordon, brother to Jeff and friend to many, passed away at 3:52am on July 31, 2007. A social critic from birth, Mike was gifted with charisma and compassion, attracting attention through both outlandish acts and kindheartedness. As children, Mike and I would and did fight about almost every aspect of our lives. From music and movies to clothing and our parents, we rarely saw eye-to-eye. In recent years though, we finally became friends - able to respect the other's choices, even if we did not fully understand them. Mike will be missed most for the gusto and uniqueness he brought to his life and those lives that he touched.

Thriller

2007-07-24T09:45:00.000-04:00

In my lifetime, there are few things I remember more clearly than the first time I saw the full Thriller video. I remember convincing my dad to let me stay up late (it was a midnight show) telling him that it was only a 4 minute song or so (but then having to block him from turning off the TV as the mini-movie approached the 15 minute mark).

Vincent Price's monologue "the foulest stench is in the air... the funk of 40,000 years..." rings in my head even today.

So here's something that I never thought I would see. An awesome reinactment of the dance sequence - as performed by a 100% male group of Filipino prisoners.

Tina pointed out some things to consider:

1. It takes an amazing amount of leadership and coordination to have put this together... and probably not something you'd ever see in a US prison.

2. All of the visible performers seemed to be of average build (ie: not emaciated, but definitely NOT overweight). A quick look to any slice of american life would not yield a similar perspective.

3. It also requires a lot of creativity - again not something you tend to think of when you think of jail.

Tina thinks that Donald Trump should contact the person who led this group and invite them to be on the next Apprentice. I agree.

Painting

2007-05-12T08:57:00.000-04:00

Some people really hate painting. No, I don't mean portraits, landscapes or still lifes. I'm talking about walls, ceilings, siding, decks, etc. I, on the other hand, find it fairly relaxing given the right circumstances.

And by right circumstances, I mean that I'm in a properly ventilated place (don't like the smell, really), properly air conditioned place (don't like being overheated) and properly clean place (dang I hate "gunk" getting on my nice newly painted surface). Oh... did I mention that I want it prepped for me, too, so that I don't have to tape any and all surfaces that I'm not painting?

Hmmm... sounds like I really don't like painting after all. But that's not true. I really do find it relaxing, and quite satisfying. As my career is in the realm of grey-areas - places where you never really know if you have "finished" or have "done a good job" (because in my world, if I do a good job, you NEVER find out as nothing ever happens as a result that can't be resolved with the language in the contract), painting is a way for me to have a task that I can FINISH. A task that, once completed, can be looked at with admiration. A task which someone with almost no skill in the task can review and say "wow... that looks good."

With the house, we had to paint the kitchen first. That meant stripping the ugly wallpaper. I tried just about every "easy" method first. Water alone... wait... try to pull? Nope, that didn't work. Hot steam? Nope (see pic).

Next up was going to be chemicals. Remember though, that I don't like weird smells (maybe that's part of my picky eating problem... hmmm... will have to consider later). So I got a "scorer"... a tool that you run over the wall repeatedly that punches small holes in the wall paper without destroying the underlying drywall. Then you wet down the surface with the chemical and wait. But I decided to try plain water first. Voila! And I was able to strip the wallpaper with relative ease (ok, Tina helped some, too). Painting was then a pretty quick activity... and now we have a blue kitchen.

The other day, I decided that our front stoop looked pretty bad. We have neighborhood standards for things looking nice out front. So I sanded the heck out of it, painted it white... even broke out my mad military school skills and shined the brass numbers to a glisten. And I was happy. Except that I stopped at about head-height and really needed to paint the entire front porch area. Oops. I guess I'll come back to that later.

Two days ago, I thought the mailbox needed help, too. THREE HOURS later, in the dark (cuz I had to start after I got home from work), I was putting the numbers back on the post. I didn't get to see my handiwork until yesterday morning... when I noticed that a bird had already christened the new paint job. Maybe I need to install those little spikey things.

April's Fools

2007-04-01T13:19:00.000-04:00

I monitor/read about 100 blogs. Many are either technology or law-related - and these days, entire blogs consist of posting links to other posts on other interesting blogs. Of course, RSS has made this almost too easy - firing up one application that systematically checks them all for new posts. And, as one would expect, there are several posts that I see on a regular basis that "make" the rounds of a particular type of blog (for example, the Apple iPhone announcements are always seen on a dozen or more blogs, after each individual whisper from Cupertino).

I figured that most, if not all, would include some form of April Fool's joke. Us geeks tend to like creative humor. A silly comment, a made up something-or-other.

What I didn't guess is that several of them would report Google's AF joke as a post on their own site. At least 6 have now commented on TiSP. Why?

Another 2 have commented on Crunchgear. Again, why? Do you think that we only read your blog to the exclusion of all of the others? Were RSS not available, I suppose that might happen. But really.

To Google and Crunchgear, good show. To the others - well, um, ah....

Dreams

2007-03-30T22:44:00.000-04:00

I've had some really funky dreams recently. I don't normally remember them in detail more than 30 minutes or so after I wake up... but I do remember that they were weird.

Hanging out with Tina the other day, I mentioned these dreams, and that I had a fairly odd dream-restriction. I can only dream about things that I've actually done in real life - with one exception (sometimes I dream that I can fly).

So, before I went skydiving, I never dreamed about skydiving... but once I finally tossed myself out of a perfectly good airplane, I was able (and did once) to have a dream where I skydove(?). Or, when I was a kid, I realized that I never would have dreams about things like being able to drive... or be older... I was restricted to my actual experience in life.

Generally speaking, I consider myself fairly creative, so I don't think it's a lack of an ability to imagine something I've never done. And, as I said, I've dreamed about flying (though it's more like an ability to swim in the air, using my hands to "push" the atmosphere around me).

Anyone else similarly limited?

Volvo's latest ads

2007-02-22T21:26:00.000-05:00

So I'm sitting here watching the Duke/Clemson game with Tina. And in the span of two commercial breaks, there are three ads for the new Volvo S80. To summarize the three:

1. Driver of the S80 is rapidly approaching a car in its lane, apparently too fast. The collision detection system goes off, the driver of the S80 swerves around the other car (which appears to have been going the speed limit. The advertising voice says something about how nice it is to have a car that cares about you.

2. Driver of the S80 is rapidly approaching a car in its lane. S80 driver looks away from the road. The collision detection system goes off, the driver of the S80 looks back and sees the rear bumper coming up quickly, so they press on the brake. The advertising voice says something to the effect that "thank god that the S80 has this system to pay attention when you don't".

3. Owner of the S80 is walking towards their car, which is sitting quietly in a dark empty parking lot. The keyfob has a heartbeat sensor which lets the owner know that someone's in the car so that the owner can know an intruder is in the vehicle.

OK... two quick questions. If this car is so friggin' great, why didn't the alarm system go off? And why should the car look out for inattentive drivers? Where's MY warning that someone's driving an S80?

Crazy.

Holy cow

2007-02-22T14:46:00.000-05:00

Wayyyyy too cool.

Implementing the Book

2007-02-17T22:55:00.000-05:00

Leavin' on a jet plane

2007-01-21T18:31:00.000-05:00

About 10 days until we're at Disney World again. I simply can't wait. We've convinced ourselves that we're going to take it easy on this trip... move slowly through the parks, not rush, not open (or close) parks every day. I'll be interested to see if we make it.

Dog Bath

2007-01-07T10:13:00.000-05:00

I've mentioned before that I love my dog. Allie's really an incredible animal. She's friendly, generally happy, doesn't bark (she "huffs" every now and again and whines when she needs to go out or is scared), and overall is probably the best pet I've ever had.

She's approximately 90% golden retriever and 10% chow. This makes her an average sized dog, about 65lbs, golden brown, ears that just flop over, a curly tail and a black/purple tongue.

Her hair, as you can see, can get quite long... and in her fuzzy state, her lineage is very obvious.

The hair, however, can be a problem. It falls off her in chunks at times, especially in the summer. And she's got a tendency for dry skin, which is harder to manage when she's fuzzy. So she needs a haircut every so often to take the bulk of the fuzz off her.

Dog grooming is very expensive. An average sized animal can cost anywhere from $40-$80 per groom, depending on the services you get (haircut, bath, toenail clipping, anal gland expression, etcetera). Yes, there are dog spas for a reason. In any event, I realized that I could buy a clipper for the cost of 2 expensive grooming visits. So I did. Over time, I've more than made up for the cost of the clipper, even after having to purchase new blades.

Allie actually likes the experience. Personally, I think it's because we end up spending a lot of time together (takes almost 2 hours to cut her down). But I also think it's just because she's a good dog. She'll stand (or sit) there as long as I ask her to do so. And when we're done with the clipping, it's time for a bath.

THIS is what she really doesn't enjoy. But she follows along, regardless. Getting into the tub is just a matter of telling her to get in. You can see on her face that she doesn't truly like the water being sprayed on her (and if you've ever seen her shy away from a lake or even a puddle, you get the sense that water isn't her best friend). She tolerates the bath though, again in my opinion, because it's time spent with us.

I just think she looks a bit odd when she's finally fluffed and folded, especially if we go for the "lion look".

Predictions

2007-01-07T09:35:00.000-05:00

I think all of the people who have been saying that they predicted the iPhone are pretty funny. It's one of those things that, if you're a geek like me, can kinda' foresee simply by watching the available technology and wondering aloud "gee, I really think it would be cool for me to have my phone and mp3 player in one converged device". In fact, it's exactly what happened a few years ago right before the Treo and Blackberry devices came out - "It would be so cool to have my calendar and phone on one converged device." Bingo.

So I went looking for anything that *I* had predicted on my blog. On 1/22/05, I predicted that someone was going to make an iPod-based media player for TiVo'd shows. I was right. Happened about six months later with the video iPod.

Ha!

(there are times I really wish I knew how to program so I could self-fulfill some of my ideas)

Anyways... if there's anyone reading this who has a lot of money to burn and wants to make a guy REALLY happy in the middle of the year, I would love an iPhone.

Tired of Bad Service

2007-01-07T08:49:00.000-05:00

In the last 48 hours, I've had two more instances of really bad customer service. I don't know what's going on, but service people must be trained to treat their customers like idiots, or push back just to make the bulk of them go away. I'm not going to tolerate either.

[A quick note: I was a Network Admin in a former life and I'm still very comfortable with technology and poking around to try to make things work.]

First was Vonage. I've had the VoIP service now for almost two years. Generally speaking, I've enjoyed it and it's worked pretty flawlessly. But lately, I've had problems with dropped calls and "missing" dialtone. I've rebooted the Vonage "phone adapter", reconfigured my network, even tried new phones. I'm also not using any interior home phone wiring (which can mess things up if not done correctly). Everything on the network is fairly new, too. At this point, I decided it was time to contact Vonage for assistance.

Their customer service site doesn't include a phone number. You have to fill out a website form and click submit to wait for someone to respond. It's pretty thorough, asking all sorts of questions about configurations, setup, model number, etc. So I was hopeful of a good response.

This wasn't was I was hoping for:

Subject: [vonage.com #9236055] Other
From: service@vonage.com

Dear Jeffrey I. Gordon,

Thank you for contacting Customer Care.

We understand from your email that you are experiencing issue with call drop.

We apologize for any inconvenience may have been caused.

We recommend you to perform the steps given below to resolve your issue:

1. Simplify the configuration (Remove any routers, hubs, switches, or home wiring).

2. Please ensure that your devices are well ventilated and clear of any other devices that could cause interference.

3. If you use a Surge Protector, swap it out. If you aren't using one, we suggest you to purchase one.

4. Make sure that you are using a DOCSIS 1.1 or later modem.

5. We request you to reboot all your devices by following the steps in the web link given below:
http://www.vonage.com/help.php?article=3D425=20

6. Check whether all wires and connections are solid and free of damages.

We hope these troubleshooting steps would assist you in resolving the issue. If you still experience the same issue then please revert to us with the following information so that we will try our extreme effort to resolve the issue soon.

We need you to run following tests on your side and send results to us via attachments.

1) THE BANDWIDTH TEST: Please run these test when the computer is connected directly to the modem and also when it is connected to the Vonage router. Please give both the results.

The bandwidth tests help us to ensure you are getting enough Upstream and Downstream bandwidth to use the Vonage service. Please click on UPLOAD SPEED TEST, then click on SMART TEST.

http://testmy.net

2) TRACE ROUTE (TRACERT): Trace Route is a utility that records the route through the Internet between your computer and a specified destination computer. It also calculates and displays the amount of time each hop took. Trace route is a handy tool both for understanding where problems are in the Internet network and for getting a detailed sense of the Internet itself. To run a trace route,

Click on START --> RUN
Type in CMD (For older windows versions, type in COMMAND)
Type the command tracert yahoo.com

3) Please let us know whether the phones are connected directly to the router or to the home wiring.

4) Please give us the vendor name and model number of all the devices that is connected in your network.

5) Please let us know how have you connected all the devices.

If you have any questions now or in the future Vonage Customer Care is eager to assist you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Please visit our help center at http://www.vonage.com/help.php or send us an email from our Contact Us page at http://www.vonage.com/help_contactUs.php. You can also call us Toll Free at: 1-VONAGE-HELP 1-866-243-4357.

Sincerely,

Vonage Customer Care

> [jeff@.net - Wed Jan 03 15:54:49 2007]:
>
> Phone Adapter:
> Linksys RT31P2
>
> ISP:
> Time Warner
>
> Router Make and Model:
> Motorola S85101
>
> Telephone Make and Model:
> Motorola MD7081
>
> Description of Network:
> Wall -> Router -> Phone Adapter -> Computers & Phone
>
> Description of Problem:
> I'm having random issues with the phone adaptor dropping calls.

So, you can first see that while they appeared to have read the subject line of my message, they never read any of the information that they actually already requested I send them.

I responded with a rather curt e-mail to each of their questions, mostly pointing them to where I'd already answered their questions and then repeating my request for more substantial assistance. Their subsequent response was to change the port on the adapter. Still doesn't work. I guess I'm going to use that phone number they provided. Hopefully it'll yield better results, but I'm not full of a lot of hope.

Generally speaking, I have found that technical support assumes that the customer is a complete moron. I mentioned earlier that I was formerly a Network Admin not to sound cool, but to indicate that I know what I'm talking about when it comes to technology. So going down a flowchart of "possible" problems doesn't amuse me when I've already tried them all and I'm looking for some serious help.

My experience in the last day with eBay is a prime example. I've been an eBay user, according to my profile page, since March 3, 1999 and I have a feedback rating of 195. So I'm not exactly a newbie with respects to the ins and outs of eBay. I noticed the other day, however, that I wasn't seeing all of my auctions won on the "My eBay" page. Regardless of the setting (whether I looked for those completed last week, last month, etc, I would always be missing at least two of the auctions. So, being the geek that I am, I tried different configurations (as stated before), different browsers (Safari and Firefox), even different computers and underlying operating systems (Macs and PCs). Heck, I even tried once from the Apple Store to see if somehow some old setting was blocking things. Alas, I finally sucumbed to sending a request for help to eBay.

Again, like Vonage, there's not an immediate way to call... you have to use their form.

Subject: My eBay isn't working correctly
Date: Sat, 06 Jan 2007 19:23:55 PST

My Account, Registration, and Password > My eBay for bidding, billing, or selling > My eBay isn't working correctly

Message: Hi! In the last few days, I've noticed that My eBay seems to not be working correctly. It's not listing all of the items I've won (for example, items 190066036927 and 300066082398 are missing from the list, as well as several others).

Additionally, I received an e-mail notice today about a relisted item that I had neither bid on nor watched. I get the feeling that somehow "My eBay" isn't quite tracking things properly.

Please help. (Oh, FYI, I'm on a Mac, using both Safari and Firefox and I've had this problem with both... and it shows up while using a PC and Internet Explorer, too).

Thank you!

~Jeff

I have to admit, eBay was quick to respond:

Date: Sat, 06 Jan 2007 20:48:34 -0800
Subject: Re: GS=C00315 My eBay isn't working correctly [#US ?01 ] (KMM66898596V45289L0KM)
From: eBay Customer Support

Dear Jeffrey,

Thank you for writing eBay in regard to the items you won not appearing
in your My eBay.

In this case, please make sure that you are viewing the correct time
period for items sold in the "Won" section. I see that the viewing time
period for items is currently set to "Last week (Dec 24)". This means
that the "Won" section will only display your transactions for the last
week. This can be easily corrected.

1. Click the "My eBay" tab located at the top of most eBay pages. You
may be asked to sign in.
2. Click the "Won" link on the left side of the page.
3. In the "Period" drop-down list to the right, click the down arrow and
select the period of time that covers the items that you're looking for.

***Note***
Make sure you're viewing the correct time period for the item in
question. For example, if you sold an item 35 days ago, it won't appear
if you are only viewing items that you sold in the last 31 days.
Currently, the longest period of time you can search is 60 days.

It is my pleasure to assist you. Thank you for choosing eBay.

Sincerely,
Vincent K.

eBay Customer Support

But again, the response was essentially "you're an idiot... change the settings and all will be hunky-dory".

I'm tired of this kind of crappy, Tier 0 response. I wish there was a way to indicate to the customer support agent that you've got some level of technical training. A password or secret handshake that would let them know that you've got things setup correctly, tried all of the standard technical support procedures, and that you're only calling because you've really hit a dead end. This password would bump you automatically to a second or third tier of support... heck, even Disney does this in a way that's not offensive to everyone else [their call processing system simply asks whether you've visited recently, and if so, more than x number of times in the last specific time period - based on that, they route you to an agent ready to treat you with a commensurate level of care. People who are newbies get a LOT of suggestions and help in terms of planning and explanation. People who are experienced get great service, but it's not tempered at all, and they make suggestions with the understanding that you've probably already "been there and done that".]

Anyone wanna' let me know the password?

Starbucks

2006-12-06T09:17:00.000-05:00

Tina and I visited San Francisco this past week. In the lobby of the Hyatt Regency Embarcadero Center was a display with those ceramic town buildings you can buy at a variety of shops all over. There were McDonalds, a Krispy Kreme, standard houses, storefronts, social services (such a police and fire station).

But boy were there Starbucks'. Several, in fact. More than 3, actually! It was incredible. In one instance, two of the Starbuck's locations were only one building apart. We thought it was someone's social commentary on the proliferation of Starbuck's stores in the world.

Little did we realize that it was merely a true representation of the number of Starbuck's locations within the city of San Francisco. They were EVERYWHERE! Every block seemed to have one. Sometimes they were really only one or two stores apart. We even found a few locations literally across the street from each other.

Most humorous, though, was the fact that this carried over to other geographic regions, too. Such as Terminal A at the DFW airport. They were no more than 100 feet from each other.

Totally insane. :)

what is this world coming to?

2006-11-22T20:54:00.000-05:00

Has anyone else recognized the similarity between Stephen King's The Running Man (and the Richard Dawson host on the fictional gameshow) and William Shatner and his new gameshow Show Me the Money?

Woah.

Wireless Devices

2006-10-19T11:12:00.000-04:00

I've been using a Palm-powered device for years. I started with a Palm III.

It was a cute little Palm, monochrome screen and I bought it at Fry's in Palo Alto, CA on my first business trip of my life.

It's predecessor was a Sharp Wizard that I'd been using all throughout law school.

It was filled with calendar and contact information. I thus taught myself Graffiti by manually entering the data into the Palm III in the hotel room and while riding in the car.

The III lasted from about 1998 until almost 2000, when I got a Palm V.
When I saw the Palm TungstenT in 2002, though, all bets were off. The T was so cool, with a sliding mechanism that allowed the screen to become larger when needed.

I finally upgraded to the Tungsten T3, a slimmer, more powerful version of the same concept.

But I've been lusting after the Handspring (now Palm again) Treo for a long time. The Treo was one of the first "converged" devices, one that combined the Palm organizer with the benefits of a cell phone. EVERYTHING was finally on one device. But the original Treo was a bit bulky. I had the chance to play with one early on in their release, so I knew that this would eventually be great... it just wasn't quite what I wanted (besides, it had a monochrome screen again).

The Treo kept a pretty brisk release schedule.
First the 180,

then the 270

(and in keeping with a "degrees" theme, they released a 90 that didn't have the phone capabilities).

And when they released the 600, I KNEW it was ready. By the time of that release, however, the Blackberry had taken the world by storm, and I had already owned two Blackberries by the time Nextel and Cingular both combined the Blackberry wireless e-mail system with phone features. Now there's the 650.

So now anyone that wants a converged device has a dilemma... Treo or Blackberry. Of course, in the last 2 years, Microsoft has added their $.02 worth, too - with a slew of Windows Mobile (remember its predecessor, WindowsCE?) powered devices by Sanyo, Samsung, Nokia, Motorola, etc. So the dilemma is compounded by these Windows-based devices, too.

But I've been using the Palm for a long time and like that OS. It's been completely designed as an organizer - which is exactly what I use it for. Easy to use, cleanly defined... almost simplistic. Perfect for me. Thus, even the addition of all these extra players really didn't cloud my judgement.

What IS a problem, though, is the wireless CARRIER differences. And all of this has been setup to talk about these differences. THIS is where the real decisions need to be made - THIS is where you can make a deal or go broke - THIS is where you need to pay attention. So let's look at the carriers for the Treo devices (there are 2, almost 3, now available: the 650, the 700 and now the 680 - not yet quite released). Know in advance that the 700 has about 4x the memory of the 650, a faster data transmission capability (EVDO rather than 1XRTT) and a little bit better camera. Everything else is about the same, but you can read a lot of reviews elsewhere. The 680 will be out soon, but it's not yet available, so we'll not really talk about it here.

There are 4 carriers in my market that supply the Treo. In alpha order: Alltel, Cingular, Sprint/Nextel and Verizon. First, forget who your current carrier is (mine's Alltel) and look just at device costs and wireless plans.

Alltel is selling the 650 for $249 (after all discounts) with a 2-year service plan. You then can pick any of their national freedom plans for voice, and you pay $29.99/mo for unlimited data. The limiting factor here is slower data speed (the 1XRTT standard rather than EVDO), but as a CDMA phone, it's good almost everywhere.

Cingular is selling the 650 for $299 (after all discounts) with a 2-year service plan. You then can pick any of their voice plans and you pay $39.99/mo for unlimited data. Cingular offers XPress Mail (similar to the Good Technology product) to connect you with your office e-mail system. Cingular has a decent network, but their data network isn't as robust as others.

Sprint/Nextel has the 700 for $399 (after all discounts) with a 2-year service plan. You pick any of their voice plans and pay $39.99/mo for unlimited data. The trouble here is that you're limited to Sprint/Nextel's network. If you walk off their network, you lose connection.

Verizon also has the 700 for $399 (after all discounts) with a 2-year service plan and you pick a voice and data bundle. Verizon's data network isn't super, either... and they aren't able to do anything with data separately from voice (although the bundles are a good idea).

All in all, given the fact that I'm with Alltel, I decided to take the slower device and stay with Alltel. Got one for Tina, too.

God I love my Treo. The lust was worth the wait.

Book 1, Email 0

2006-09-24T09:25:00.000-04:00

Well, I finally get the book completed, uploaded... ready to print and start to send messages to folks letting them know about it. And my e-mail host decides to throw a rod.

~~I don't know what's going on right now... but if you are trying to send me e-mail and you get a delay, please send it to jigordon at gmail dot com. I'll respond as soon as I can.~~

[OK... everything's better now. Sorry for the inconvenience!]

In any event, however, go check out the book! ;)

MBA factories

2006-08-22T01:13:00.000-04:00

I decided several years ago that I wanted to get an MBA. I researched schools, looked into various programs... found one I liked and went through the process.

I'm now 2/9ths done with my chosen program and I feel that every day I walk out of class, I've learned something that I can immediately take back to my work environment. But class is not easy and class doesn't come quickly. In fact, it's 2 days per week, almost every week of the year, for at least 3 hours, sometimes a bit more.

What I am now trying to figure out is how an "institution" can offer the same accredited degree program that I'm in... but do it in 2 years instead of three... and do it remotely with only 5, 4-day weekends per year? It just seems impossible to me.

Or maybe it's the fact that, as the Presidio School of Management so clearly shows on their website, that virtually NONE of the faculty at the "school" have a business background or an MBA themselves. Ph.D's are good... but I would think that they need to be in a related field. But hey, that's just me and my JD speaking (where 99% of all law school professors MUST BE lawyers themselves).

So it really ticks me off to realize that MY degree is going to be less valuable because these Degree Factories are pumping out unqualified people with the same degree that I'm trying to earn.

Who's in charge of this mess?

Keys to the Beandom?

2006-08-18T16:18:00.000-04:00

It's no secret that Tina and I visit Disney on a regular basis. One of the tours we took while we were there was "Keys to the Kingdom" which is essentially a behind-the-scenes look at the Magic Kingdom. It lasts for about 4 hours, includes lots of notable trivia bits and looks at the most secretive of places in the entire park (including the underground tunnels that traverse the entire property).

Two days ago, we were passing through Freeport, Maine, home to L.L. Bean. Tina's had a purple pullover from there that was bought back in her freshman year of college... and in a manner similar to me going to the Apple Computer Headquarters in Cuppertino, CA, going to L.L. Bean was like coming home for Tina. The pullover itself has acquired almost mythical status... known simply as her "Bean". It embodies all of the possible Beanness one item could have. She loves it and it loves her back, I suppose.

It's almost hard to express in words the look on her face and her state of excitement when she realized that there were FOUR buildings that comprise the L.L. Bean flagship location... and that the main one is open 24/7/365! She simply was in awe of trying to figure out what would require a run to the "Bean" to buy a "Bean" at 3am.

I wasn't willing to find out who visited at 3am, though, so we had to go at a more normal 1pm. After walking through all of the buildings and taking pictures of Tina wearing a giant backpack

(and getting in an even LARGER backpack),

we were ready to go. But not before getting the boot.

And as we walked away from the Bean, Tina simply inquired why they didn't offer tours of their facilities (including their full warehouse a few miles down the road) just like Disney. "They should have 'Keys to the Beandom'!"

All I could do was smile.

RandomMoments

2006-08-11T22:57:00.000-04:00

I watch a lot of TV and movies. More than I should, I suppose. TiVo will go down as one of the best inventions of my lifetime.

But I'm curious.

Who actually has those perfect TV/movie moments in their life?

You know the ones I'm talking about. Where the guy and girl are sitting together having that instant karmic connection. Where the athlete runs faster, jumps higher, plays longer or through the pain to win the gold. Where the worker gets the big career move that they actually deserve. Any of those.

Because I don't know where or when they happen. I don't know anyone who has them - but I know that I don't get them.

Or... maybe I do.

Maybe the moments in my life are the TV/movie moments for someone else's life.

Treasure Hunting

2006-07-30T21:37:00.000-04:00

I'll admit that I love contests, game shows, puzzles and any other form of semi-intellectual test that might result in winning some sort of prize. Today's adventure is the NBC show "Treasure Hunters".

Over the course of several weeks, real people on real teams are running all over the planet trying to solve clues and determine where to go next to find a series of clues. When they have all the clues, they're supposed to be able to figure out where to go to win a treasure chest of cash/gold/dubloon or some other similar reward. And, to make things more interesting for those of us "at home", NBC has added an online component where they've been offering a contest to also win a cash prize.

Now, the online puzzles are sometimes fun, sometimes a bit challenging (because there aren't that many instructions/directions or other clues). But overall, it's not extremely difficult... and if you do this long enough, you should be able to answer a question they ask at the end of every week's clue.

I didn't realize until today, however, that there are folks blogging with the exact step-by-step instructions of how to "solve" each clue. And I just don't get it. If you were trying to win $250,000, and the entrance "fee" is based on your ability to solve the weekly puzzles, would YOU tell other people how to solve them?

Mind boggling. More so than the puzzles themselves.

Comparisons are tricky

2006-07-28T12:00:00.000-04:00

When people don't understand what I'm trying to tell them in a negotiation, I often resort to the use of an analogy. The idea is that if I can't gain understanding on the actual words, let's shoot for understanding on the concepts. Once we get to that point, we'll go back to the language and work out the details.

These types of comparisons can become quite difficult and quite involved, especially when you're dealing with discussions on technologies that are new or not fully realized yet. But yesterday, I realized that comparisons, even at a very fundamental level, can be just as sticky.

Guy Kawasaki, the original Mac Evangelist, has become an incredible business person. He's well known, well respected, and like many others, writes a blog where he usually discusses various business topics. The other day, he linked to the TED conference presentations that are available for online viewing. Admitedly, these are some of the world's brightest people talking about many of the world's most pressing problems.

Guy's post, however, was specifically about one of the presenters, whom he compared to Steve Jobs in terms of presentation abilities. Now, I don't know Steve. Guy, however, does. Personally. So, when I read that headline and the article, I went back to the TED page to view this presenter (whom I hadn't gotten to quite yet), because Steve's pretty good.

And to be fair, I was impressed by her passion and said so in a comment on Guy's blog - but her presentation style left much to be desired. The other commentors also were split about how they felt. Some had similar feelings as I did, some agreed with Guy. I finally realized the danger of comparison (and was reminded of the danger of having serious conversations in an online format) while reading the comments again this morning to see what had been posted overnight.

One person, Splashman, stated: "I must again point out that Guy's comparison of Majora to Steve is unqualified. That means he didn't say, "Majora is better in a couple of areas." He didn't say, "Majora would be better than Steve if she had the same support and 20 years' practice." The title of his post is "As good as Steve Jobs." And nothing in the body of the post gives the impression that he is qualifying the comparison."

So, it wasn't so much that the comparison was made, but the weight given to the comparison by the original author as well as by the reader of the comparison. Had it been me making the comparison, would readers have reacted in the same way? I don't think so. Since I don't know Steve. Since I wasn't at TED. Since I'm not Guy.

I personally went to listen to the presentation because Guy said it was good. In my opinion, it wasn't, regardless of whether the topic was relevant, important and the speaker was passionate. My opinion of Guy's opinion won't be tarnished because of this difference. But I can see where it could happen that some people would decrease the level of credence they give to Guy based on this difference.

The lesson here is that while analogies or other comparisons are good, negative weighted opinions can block understanding at best, and at worst, sway things in an opposite direction than what was desired. I gave Guy's opinion the benefit of the doubt I had about the presenter because I trusted his opinion. The fact that I now disagree with his opinion could have caused me to discount other opinions he holds or shares. If this was a negotiation, this becomes a trust issue - which is never a good problem to have.

So I'll continue to read Guy's blog. If for no other reason than the fact that my respect for Guy isn't based on his opinions, it's based on his actions... and the fact that someone says something that I personally disagree with doesn't mean that I discount their opinion (even if I think it's wrong ).

YardSale

2006-07-22T21:29:00.000-04:00

Today was the day that we finally got rid of all of the duplicate, triplicate or other items that we had but no longer had use for.

It's been a long time coming, actually, and Tina's been more in favor of the sale and getting the stuff out of our garage. But I agree that having boxes and boxes of unused stuff just sitting around made no sense. So with some advertisements placed in online and in the local paper... and some free signs obtained at Office Max (in fact, check your local Office Max now to see if they still have Avery signs for free - 1 per customer per visit)... and a lot of effort to sort and tag our stuff... we were ready for our first YardSale(TM).

I guess I'm not really clear on the YardSale(TM) rules. We were pretty clear that the sale was going to run from 8am-noon. It said so in the ads. It said so on the signs. We got up at 6am. Almost immediately, we were outside, moving the cars, getting stuff moved to the lawn and out of the garage.

It wasn't more than 30 minutes later that the first car came slowly crusing by, scouting the situation. And about 4 minutes after that, we had our first buyer. She went poking around and we weren't event getting the stuff out fast enough. We simply couldn't believe it! I wonder if these are the same people that show up to a Wal-Mart hours before the store opens (those that aren't already open 24 hours/day, I suppose) when a new toy is being released. I dunno.

The next thing I don't understand is about pricing. Now, I'm no stranger to negotiation... and I'm no stranger to wanting to save a buck (see the previous post, for example). But who negotiates over a DOLLAR? Yes, that's right... a SINGLE DOLLAR. And not just a dollar, but over fifty cents. And over twenty-five cents. And over the smallest amounts of money for decent stuff!

I couldn't believe this, either. I was so stunned that in many cases, I simply accepted the buyers offer simply because in my head, I didn't see $.50 as a huge decrease in price. And it would only hit me later that I was cutting 50% off the price... and not just taking fifty cents off a thousand-dollar transaction. It was totally surreal at times. So I started just calling for Tina every time people wanted to know if we'd accept a lower price.

But, as Tina just reminded me, this wasn't about ME, it was about the buyer. They come to these sales just looking for a bargain... and they're determined to get one, too. Maybe, if this is the only place where they can find a "deal", this is how they can feel better about things. Again, I dunno'. The simple question on this is whether people are just looking to save money off the listed price or whether they actually are looking for cheap stuff. In other words, if we priced things higher, would they have settled for the price WE wanted and not on a bargain-basement price? I suggest to the next person having a YardSale(TM) that they price things closer to retail... you can always lower your price later. :)

Late in the morning, we were talking with a neighbor who very succinctly stated that some people are simply addicted to the YardSale(TM). And I suppose she might be right. Because at the very end of the sale hours, right about 11:55a, we had our last customer arrive. Driving up in a nice vehicle and looking like any other average 40-something male, this gentleman proceeded to review EVERYTHING we still had out on the lawn.

I don't mean to say that he just perused. He was ACTIVELY looking for something. Anything. Everything. And about 30 minutes later, as he was leaving with a light fixture, several pieces of women's clothing, shirts, shoes and a picture frame, did I get the courage to ask him what he was going to do with all of his purchases. Now, understand that I hadn't asked anyone else this type of invasive question. But I was really curious and it just got the best of me.

His response? He was taking these items to a consignment store for resale. Wow. I simply hadn't considered that people would buy stuff from us to resell it later somewhere else. Well... I guess everyone wants to make money and this was his way. Far be it from me to slam it. I just don't understand. Add it to the list, I guess.

While I love Apple...

2006-07-21T15:25:00.000-04:00

... I'm really kinda' sad about a recent experience I had with getting a repair on my PowerBook.

I own a Titanium G4 PowerBook - initially released in 2000/2001 and I purchased it brand new, directly from Apple.

I've used it every day since then and have had virtually no problems with it. In fact, I like to boast that I've very rarely even had to reboot the machine (which is a credit to the stability of the operating system) except when new software so demanded. I even frequently don't even close the lid, preferring to just leave it open overnight so that e-mail is waiting for me when I get up in the morning.

But just the other day, I needed to close the lid. And as I did, using an even amount of pressure (not forcing anything or feeling any feedback that anything wasn't 100% "right"), the right-side hinge simply snapped. It looked like this:

Holy crap! I almost started crying. Tina just looked at me and started to comfort me. But then I got pissed. Why did the hinge snap? How did this happen? Why didn't I feel any feedback or resistance? The portion of the hinge that was still attached to the base was frozen in place. It's like the hinge seized up mid-close, and I simply pulled it beyond it's means.

OK. I took a deep breath. The machine still worked... the screen still worked... it was just a broken hinge. Apple, I was SURE, would cover this even though the machine was out of warranty. You could tell, just by looking at the machine, that it was in pristine condition - well maintained by someone who took VERY good care of their equipment. I knew, based on past history with AppleCare that I would need to send the laptop into their facility for support. I figured, however, that I could start at our local Apple Retail Store to see if they could at least handle many of the details.

I scheduled time at the store using the online scheduler - really slick, actually. And after only waiting for a few minutes after I got there, a Mac Genius was ready to listen to my problem. It didn't take much listening, however, for him to understand the problem. But after a conference or two outside of my earshot, he "regrets to inform me that there was nothing that Apple could do as this was out of warranty."

WHAT? I've got a GREAT machine... in almost PERFECT condition. It wasn't dropped, hit, mistreated or otherwise abused to cause the hinge to snap. For what other reason than a manufacturing or design defect could this have happened? The Mac Genius wasn't sure about that, only that he couldn't actually help me.

What he offered to do was to type my problem into their system so that when/if I called AppleCare's 800#, they would have a case number and would be able to read about the problem from someone who actually saw the machine firsthand. He was actually kind enough to include a comment that the machine WAS in perfect condition. But again, there was nothing they could do because there was no longer a valid warranty.

OK. I figured I could call the 800# and get to someone who had the power to make an exception. I called. No luck. I called again and asked for someone a bit higher. Still no luck. In fact, they told me that they had NO RECORD of these types of problems with this model PowerBook but that the repair would run me about $700!

At this point, I went online. It didn't take me long to find www.powerbookresq.com. And in about 30 seconds, my eyes settled on the link that led me here. (Yes, that's where I got the picture used above.)

I couldn't believe it! Not only was this a KNOWN problem, Apple would also have to know about it because they, at some point, MAKE THE FRIGGIN' HINGE used by powerbookresq to fix other Powerbooks! Not to mention the fact that PBresQ fixes this problem for $269, including shipping. WAY less than what Apple would charge to fix a problem that should NEVER have happened!

Now, I need to fully disclose that I absolutely love the company and love the products. This experience, while frustrating and possibly not very cool, won't change any of that. And I'm guessing that Apple knows this, too, if by no other means than my purchase history. But I would have hoped that this would increase the probability of a little rule bending to fix a problem with a product that they made and wasn't caused by me.

About two weeks ago, I found this little blog, After Apple. As you can see from this article, Adam clearly details Apple's intimate knowledge of the problem I had: "The PowerBook Titanium was the king of the road, until you opened it the 333rd time and the hinge decided it was time to move on in life."

So now I am doubly sad... first that my PB sputtered and second that its creator knew it would and didn't care.

Sigh.

But I forked over the money to PBResQ. They fixed my baby up and I was back using it in no time. According to them, the glue used by Apple during the manufacturing process isn't that great. So they use an epoxy that should outlast the rest of machine. So far, so good. Thanks, PowerbookResQ!

Addiction to Logic Games

2006-06-12T22:21:00.000-04:00

I used to hate logic games. You know... there are 4 puppets, each is a different animal and each has a different name. Each puppet also has a chief puppeteer and an assistant puppeteer. Based on the sketchy following information, you now need to be able to know which puppet is which and is controlled by which puppeteers.

Man I hated those things. Then, during preparation for my LSAT, I discovered that I needed to learn how to do them successfully if I wanted a prayer of attending law school. So I learned how to do them. But that didn't mean I was going to LIKE them!

Flash forward 12 years. I do Sudokus almost every day. I love puzzles (well, ok, I love almost all puzzles) and solving them gives me a great deal of satisfaction.

But logic puzzles still bother me. I never really liked them then and now they bring LSAT flashbacks. But tonight, Tina decided to play an online logic puzzle. Grabbing a pen and paper, I quickly decided that I wanted to join in and see if I could still do them.

And wadda' know? I can still do them.

That one was enough to last me another 12 years.

See ya' again in 2018. :)

MTV VH1 ... Friday Night Videos

2006-06-10T08:23:00.000-04:00

Does anyone else remember Friday Night Videos? I believe it was on NBC... but maybe it was even a UHF channel (heck, does anyone remember UHF anymore?). In any event, FNV was pre-MTV, definitely pre-VH1 ... and it was the start of music videos.

Yeah, most of them sucked. Artists didn't know what was going to work in this medium, so they tried everything. And even as MTV came online with their first video of "Video Killed the Radio Star" by the Buggles (anyone who didn't know of FNV ever think of how that song was the first one played on MTV if MTV was the first music video offering?), artists were still trying to figure out how to get their music across to listeners in a format other than pure sound.

The result was, as I said, less than great. People who had never seen their favorite bands other than on album cover art were sometimes shocked to discover the "face behind the song". Boy George, Adam Ant and other "gender benders" enjoyed the first round of being able to be themselves on national television while pressing conservative buttons everywhere. Cyndi Lauper, with her high voice and tule skirts, also started a fashion revolution ... along with, lest we forget, Madonna... who could be counted upon to raise the lust level in young men around the world.

But faster than might be expected, bands turned the videos into something more than the song. They used the video as a way to tell a story, share related images, even attack social crises like homelessness, HIV/AIDS, missing children, etc. And they also expanded the art of the video... such as with my favorite song, A-Ha's "Take on Me", which was the first video to combine live action and animation.

However, over 20 years later, there are still good videos and bad videos. And while you would think that certain things would have become "standard" in a video, it appears that they haven't. For today, on MTV, I happened across the video for "Where'd You Go" by Fort Minor featuring Holly Brook.

Now, the song is ok... but it does contain profanity. You and I both know that MTV isn't going to let that slip through, just like the radio stations won't. And I've gotta' believe that even if the artist themselves don't understand that, their manager should.

So, when they're recording the video, why wouldn't they RECORD A VIDEO WITHOUT THE FRIGGIN' PROFANITY? Because we already know that songs played on the radio sound really stupid when they blank out the audio for a swear word. So guess how stupid it looks when they blank out the audio and YOUR LIPS KEEP MOVING?

I mean, really. Are you kidding me? If you like your song so much that you want to use profanity in it, fine... but either record a clean version, or understand that your song/video can't play. Cuz it just sounds stupid. And it looks even MORE stupid on the video.

boxes

2006-04-24T13:51:00.000-04:00

In general I love a good box. Well constructed, made of a sturdy material, designed to hold my crap. Simple. Elegant. Cardboard, plastic, metal. Big, small, other. Doesn't really matter. Add a cool lid (like the ones that have the interlocking tops to make them stackable) and it's even better.

Maybe I just love the organization factor. It's my anal-retentive nature, I suppose.

But then there are other boxes. Like Pandora's.

And www.pandora.com as a place to store your "music preferences" is about as cool as it gets. Now, I'm not one to just link to tell you where to visit (especially since I have a readership of like, um, nothing). But this is WAY too cool!

Put in your favorite artist... hear a song by them to start... then move onto simliar things recommended by the music genome project. I could be here for days.

I probably will.

nothing like a good friend to smack you upside your head

2006-04-14T10:39:00.000-04:00

I shared my recent news with a really good friend yesterday. I was lamenting about how this was going to affect the whole family and that it was a lot to deal with. I basically said I didn't know how to handle this and what I should do.

It took her all of about 30 seconds to say "it's not about you."

Well, no kidding... I know/knew that. But the reminder was very important to hear.

Thanks, C.

the aftermath

2006-04-13T14:53:00.000-04:00

So it's T-cell+1 (sorry, bad joke, but that's about all I'm capable of at the moment). I have now had a single day to digest the facts about what might happen to my family member. I feel no closer to any kind of conclusion than I did yesterday at this time. Which really sucks.

But here's what I know. I know that HIV can kill quickly if not taken care of. And while this family member, in their heart, believes that they'll live 10-15 years with the virus, the truth is that I don't think they have the responsibility level necessary to stay on the drug therapies and do the required acts necessary to prolong your life that long.

First, they are already an addict... and additional medications will wreak havoc with their social playtime. In fact, they currently don't take the required meds for their other medical maladies because it intereferes with the high. Which means that even if they were OPEN to the idea of taking the cocktails, they simply won't do it.

Second, if they were willing to take the meds, they are also the type of person to believe they are impervious to the badness that would come with an overabundance of the meds. They would think that they are somehow super-person and that they could beat the virus simply by taking ALL of the meds all at one time. So they would, in essence, survive the virus only to be eliminated by the meds.

Third, there's always the chance that they'll get the meds (which, btw, will come through Medicaid as they don't have health insurance), and then sell them on the street because they're not the exact same meds that their friends have or that they believe will work best.

Fourth, I also believe that they will simply not want to be on the meds, or will forget to take them... or will somehow otherwise not take them.

All in all, I don't think that this person is going to make the 10-15 year lifespan they believe they will. And in talking with experts on the subject, there's a pretty good chance that they'll be dead in a year. :(

Damn.

afternoon phone calls

2006-04-12T14:52:00.000-04:00

So I'm riding with Tina back to work after having lunch together and my phone beeps with a message that I need to call back a number I've never seen before.

But I'm a sucker... so I call. And it's a close family member calling.

I know, based on prior behavior, that the fact of the call means that it's bad news. And I'm right.

I am now related to someone with HIV.

To my afflicted family member: I'm really sorry. :( I love you more than you'll ever know and I wish there was something I could do to make this go away.

Teaching and Learning

2006-03-27T19:33:00.000-05:00

Regardless of where you are in the world, you've had some form of education. It could be as complex as grad school, or it could be as basic as your dad smacking your hand when you reached for the hot stove. You learned early on that someone would teach you a lesson and then you would be expected to carry that knowledge forward to the next opportunity.

If you're lucky and make it through high school (sorry, non-US readers, this is going to be somewhat biased for a moment as I don't know non-US education hierarchies, but for reference, we're talking about steady school through about age 17), you have probably experienced the spoon-feeding education theory. This is where your instructor walks you through each and every logic point. They slowly and patiently explain the itty-bitty steps from no-knowledge and knowledge. For example, if you've ever taken Speech in school, you probably had to give an instructional speech where you explained something simple but in great detail... like making a Peanutbutter and Jelly sandwitch.

By the time you reach college-level courses, the instructors/professors assume that you have a certain baseline set of information already stored in your head. So rather than spoon feeding you, they try to move faster... driving your thought process, but always doing something of the "read this, then we'll talk about it, then I'll assign something for you to practice on with your new information" type process. You see this by reading assignments, followed by class lecture/discussion, followed by a graded exam.

If you're really masochistic, you decide you want to go to grad school. And if you're REALLY hell-bent on killing yourself, you choose law school (mostly because you realize that MD's have a lot more school than law and may/may not have as much earning potential. Law school is usually taught in the Socratic Method... designed to inspire ~~terror~~ a greater learning curve. The method is based on a question/answer format where the professor guides the "student" to discovery of the miniscule point of law a specific case is trying to illustrate.

So, as you might have guessed by now, I survived all of this so far. But thought, what the hell, I want MORE... and enrolled in a local MBA program.

My first two courses are Stats and Marketing. Stats has its own challenges (perhaps the topic of another post on another day). Marketing is my focus today. Specifically, we have to do case studies... also individually geared towards a particular marketing point (such as defining your target market, pricing, etc). However, in each and every case, we get the lesson AFTER we have to turn in the case assignment! I've considered that I was missing something. But no, the reading still was done before class... as well as the particular case. The case is turned in first thing when we arrive... and then we are taught the lesson for the day.

Wild.

March Madness

2006-03-23T21:01:00.000-05:00

I'm sure that if you're reading the title, you've thought that I would write about how much I like one team or another... or how I am doing well/poor in my office bracket gambling event.

But no. I'm writing to say that I hate college and professional sports. Not because I hate the players, because I don't. I think many of them are incredible athletes and I'm glad that they have a way to do something that they love to do (and be paid well for it).

What I can't stand are the fans.

Especially now that I live in ACC country, I am simply amazed at the quantity of time people spend thinking about basketball, dreaming about basketball, watching basketball... and getting completely over-worked about their team(s). And yes, I'm probably talking about you, too.

What amazes me most, however, is the level of seriousness taken on by the fans. It's like their own personal lives hinge on the outcome of the game! Really! They take it as a personal affront if their team doesn't win... and as a personal "win" if the team does well. And what I really think annoying is when the fans get sad ON BEHALF OF the players.

Why?

I have to believe that they realize that the players are going to (or already do) make more money in a single year than many do in a lifetime. I have to also believe that the players don't really care about the fans... (you wouldn't have things like a hockey strike if fans were the reason for playing). And to top it off, fans PAY MONEY to see the various teams play.

Don't fans realize that they're taken advantage of? Don't they realize that their hard-earned money is going to pay for it, too? And that when they get emotional, they're paying for that, too?

Crazy.

politics

2006-03-21T06:52:00.000-05:00

Jim Crow laws were wrong. They are wrong today and they were wrong 50 years ago. Arrests made under those laws were just as wrong. Rosa Parks (and the many men and women who came before and after her) are heros because they stood up and announced to the world that those laws were wrong.

Today, some folks are still looking to apologize in some way (as we should - and oh, btw, as long as we're talking about this... let's just say it all... we have to start with a very obviously missing "We're SORRY!"). And the latest attempt is pardoning those people who were wrongly arrested, starting with Parks. For those folks who are still alive and for whom the pardon would erase their "criminal" history, that's great and they should receive one. In many cases, however, the pardon comes 50+ years TOO DAMN LATE!

For example, Lillie Mae Bradford (now 75) has suffered the effects of an arrest record since 1951. Yes, she wants a pardon and should be granted one. But that's still not going to undo the injustice suffered for the last 55 years. It's not going to make her career better now (she had trouble landing government jobs because of the record). All we (and I'm speaking for the average white citizen here) are doing is trying to appease our conscience.

And if that's what "we" want to do... start with a sincere apology. Then fix the friggin' problem (which STILL exists in many parts of this country).

For an "advanced" society, we're still pretty messed up.

complaining

2006-03-20T18:58:00.000-05:00

I don't want to make a habit of complaining... it just doesn't ever seem to solve the underlying problem.

But why in the world do people think that being pissy is going to somehow be manageable, especially in the workplace?

I had a thought today at work... researched it, had a possible methodology... and then took it to the person who was responsible for maintaining the existing process (keeping in mind that this person doesn't actually own the relationship... they're merely a middleman).

This person then proceeded to rain on the parade. It won't work because... We've already looked at things similar to that... If we ever did anything different than what we are currently doing, it wouldn't be that...

I just don't get it. Why wouldn't you just listen?

time to change

2006-03-17T16:01:00.000-05:00

"Today, we celebrate the first glorious anniversary of the Information Purification Directives. We have created, for the first time in all history, a garden of pure ideology. Where each worker may bloom, secure from the pests purveying contradictory thoughts. Our Unification of Thought is more powerful a weapon than any fleet or army on earth. We are one people. With one will, one resolve, one cause. Our enemies shall talk themselves to death and we will bury them with their own confusion. We shall prevail!"

So I've moved my domain to just be a blog. About time, I know. And to mark the occasion, I'm going to try to attach a photo for the first time, too.

HomeOwner

2006-03-16T14:55:00.000-05:00

Well... we did it! We finally bought a house. And in the last few weeks, I have actually cataloged ALL of my books.

This might seem trivial to most people, but I needed library-quality software to accomplish the task... and Delicious Monster did the trick. Granted, I'm still waiting to get the barcode scanner (which would've made the initial upload faster), but overall it's a really cool tool.

Boxing 20 boxes of books and hauling these heavy suckers up into the attic, however, was no easy task. My back hurts, I have trouble breathing from the stuff in the attic, and Tina's afraid that the stuff is going to tumble down on top of us. But it's all up there. And anytime I need to go get one, the boxes (thanks to my extreme anal retentiveness) are numbered so I can go right to the box that contains the book I'm seeking.

Then we had the toilet in our bathroom decide to not really flush. And the toilet downstairs run constantly. Oh, and the heating system had a bad blower wheel which wasn't covered under the home warranty purchased at the time of sale because it was improperly maintained. But hey... the joys of homeownership.

Next up? Fixing the automated sprinkler system that the prior owners said didn't work (but we're pretty sure they are idiots)... reseeding the lawn (cuz' they didn't do any yardwork either)... and cleaning the carpets (because they let their two full-sized goldens run rampant through the house).

God I love my house.

Building Nicknames

2005-11-02T22:14:00.000-05:00

The Raleigh, North Carolina city council approved the building of a brand-new 480 foot tower building near Crabtree Valley Mall, to be named Glen-Tree Tower (Glenwood is the road it's on). This mall, however, is about 3 miles from the center of town (where all the tall buildings are). Of course, this new building is going to be the tallest building in the city.

Now, this happens to not be the first time that a city in this area has tried such a thing. In fact, if you've ever visited the Durham area (especially near Duke's campus), you might have seen a tall, out-of-place building with a large spire on top. Technically, this is the University Tower. It's more affectionately known, however, due to its size and shape as the Durham Dick.

In the last 24 hours, however, just since the announcement of the new Glen-Tree Tower, I've heard THREE other nicknames for the Durham Dick... none of which I (or my NC-native wife) have EVER heard before. First was the Green Pickle. Now, this was uttered by a City Councilman. So I initially thought that perhaps he was going to say Durham Dick and then realized at the last second that he was being recorded for radio and TV and that Green Pickle was the first thing that came to mind as the building does have a sort of green hue to it given it's mirrored facade. But overall, I dismissed this name as just stupid.

Tonight I get home and my wife tells me that she heard two other names.... Duke Kook (insert REALLY puzzled look here), and Green Weenie (which, again, I think I can understand).

So... I was sitting here trying to think of a name for the new Glen-Tree Tower. Something catchy... something alliterative. And I stumbled on it pretty quickly. The Captial Cock.

I just wanted to be the first to publish it. Cafe Press logo items will be for sale shortly. :)

Birthdays

2005-09-17T13:10:00.000-04:00

Uh-oh. I'm in trouble. I was going to write about something else... then all of the sudden, I'm asked if I read a book from the library.

"No", I responded.

"Well, what about the Disney book?" my wife asks.

"No..." I say.

And then came the crux question... the one that changed the outcome of this entry.

"Did you send the thank you note?"

Oh crap. I KNEW I had to do it... remember even being REMINDED to do it. But didn't do it.

I feign horror.

"No." Thinking fast, I add "Can I send one from Disney?"

"No!"

Hmmm... guess I can't blog about random stuff today because I have something I actually have to go write in the physical universe.

A thank you note for a beautiful birthday gift. And in case she reads it here first: "Thank you, GrandMa (on the Albright side)!"

long hours at work

2005-04-20T18:11:00.000-04:00

When I was a teenager, my folks didn't want me working. They thought that my attention should be spent on homework and they did a really good job of always providing me with whatever I needed from a material perspective.

But when I was 16, I finally got a job working for the local Burger King. My parents were NOT happy with me - they even refused to TAKE me to work - even when the weather was incredibly bad... and I remember one particularly nasty day of walking through the snow, slush and blowing wind just to get to work.

Of course, the job was not exactly easy - food service isn't a cakewalk (don't let anyone tell you any different). I didn't like touching raw food (still don't), especially condiments that I would NEVER even eat. And the pay is even worse.

Federal Minimum Wage when I first got a job had just been raised to $3.15. I remember this clearly from the big poster that was required to be placed in the BK breakroom. Even if I worked EVERY available hour between when I got out of school at 3pm, until I went to bed around 11pm (8 hours), I would still only be able to make $25.20/day.

Flash forward to now. I make well more per hour than I did per day back then. This is a good thing (and would be even better if inflation didn't exist). But now that I'm no longer an hourly employee, I have to work until the job is done. I don't get to stop when the clock strikes 5pm every day. And on most days, I have several hours of work to do each evening.

And it appears that these days, it's even longer. With one negotiation, I've been working until 7-8pm every night for months. Which dilutes my "per hour" equivalent rate.

So these are the days where I long to be an hourly employee again.... and let's not even start the conversation if I feel like all my time is well spent. ;)

I love Bloop!

2005-03-30T21:43:00.000-05:00

OK... time to coin a term.

"Bloop"... as in "Bloop, Bloop, Bloop"... the sound a TiVo makes when it's fast forwarding through all of those crappy commercials.

I loving having Bloop. And I'm very sad when I have no Bloop but have a commercial staring me in the face.

I'm even more sad when I'm in real life and I have no Bloop.

Bloop.

hehe

~J

Tracking me...

2005-03-06T20:18:00.000-05:00

More and more people are worried that governments and private corporations will soon have the ability to electronically track you for every moment you're breathing. Satellites already have the ability to read newspapers from space... all it takes now is the ability to quickly locate a specific person.

Are you going to knowingly agree, then, to have something on you that will make that location possible?

No?

Are you sure?

Well... let's check, shall we?

Do you have credit cards? Do you use them? I'm guessing that folks do so at least once per day on average. That card can give an exact street address the moment you use it. (Whether you're talking about a generic Visa or MC, or whether you are using store-specific cards like a JCPenny card or a Sears card, it's all the same.)

No credit cards you say? OK, how about an ATM card? Same situation there.

OK, so somehow you live "off the grid" (as was most recently stated on the TV show "Committed") and pay for everything in cash? You think you're clean then?

Hmmm... what about loyalty cards? You know what I'm talking about. The Kroger Plus Card, the Food Lion MVP card, the Suncoast Replay card, the Eddie Bauer "explorer" card... again, every time you use it, someone, somewhere, knows where you are and what you're up to.

Alright... so let's just assume you don't have any credit cards or loyalty cards at all...

Do you have a car? Have you taken it for service recently? Did you notice that JiffyLube knows your car and you... and the last time you came around for an oil change?

You didn't? OK, what about calling for pizza? Didn't Dominos or Pizza Hut call you by name when you spoke with them? Didn't they already know where you lived?

No? Really? Wow... I'm impressed.

Alrighty. What about a phone? Do you have a cell phone? You DO? Game over. And here we reach what I really wanted to talk about... my new PHONE! :)

Yeah, I finally got the v710. It's cooler than I thought. But it has a pretty scary feature. It allows you to enable its own internal GPS system. If it's so enabled, and you call 911, they can remotely flip on the system and instantly know where you are (even if they didn't have the time to triangulate your signal - which is already a possibility for non GPS phones).

But hey... I already have credit cards, loyalty cards, my car, and I order enough pizza to support a small country. So this feature shouldn't scare me too much.

Promises, Promises isn't just the name of a Naked Eyes tune

2005-01-26T16:23:00.000-05:00

Man I really hate when someone tells me that they're going to do something and then fails to live up to their promise. I hate it even more when it's something that's created excitement and a bit of longing.

Ok, so I was at the mall on Saturday. I talked with this manager of a cellphone store who told me that he could get me a new cell phone that I wanted... but that he had to work his connections with the distributor to get it. I was supposed to call him on Monday to make it happen.

I called on Monday... and he told me that the phone would be there on Wednesday. I am now excited and I work on convincing Tina that I really need the phone (not that there was much convincing to do as my current phone has been on a Peruvian Death March for several months now). But all in all, I'm excited that I'm going to get this new phone.

So I call on Wednesday. Phone's not there (I had asked for 2 of them so that Tina could get one, too, so when the distributor told the manager that he only had one, the manager didn't get the one). But the manager tells me that he'll get in touch with the distributor and call me back in an hour.

Three hours later, no calls. I call the store. Manager's gone home for the day. Store personnel have no clue what I'm talking about, but they give me the manager's cell number. I call it. He's not there and I leave a message.

But by this point, it's now 3.5 hours after I was supposed to get a call back, I'm probably not going to get the phone today... and since I'm going out of town for the weekend, I won't see it until Monday.

Bummer.

But I really hate it when people lie to me.

Um, I said 81, not 18!

2005-01-24T08:05:00.000-05:00

It's friggin' cold out there!

When I moved to NC from Indiana about 6 years ago, one of the reasons for the move (besides being bored with the midwest) was the fact that each winter became a trial of how to survive in the great white north. It's friggin' cold, eh? Hozer.

So I moved somewhere that I was told you could play golf 11 months out of the year... where I would probably never need my ski jacket again... a place where, when people refer to toboggans, they're talking about hats, not sleds... a place where I would have to DRIVE to see snow.

Riiiiiiiiight.

In the last several years, there's been an uncanny cold snap down here. Not to sound arrogant, but I think the cold followed me as I moved. Because I've needed my ski jacket (the one rated well enough to keep sherpas warm while they scale Everest) every year I've been here! And yes, it really is only 18 degrees (F) outside.

So, if anyone has a direct line to the weather folks, please get them to turn up the thermostat. Thanks. :)

Convincing someone that I'm going to write...

2005-01-22T21:00:00.000-05:00

So I told you that I was going to write. But I didn't. If you know me, you can harp at me.

But such is life.

My life is consumed with work... and TiVo. Someone should've invented this YEARS ago. I've wasted a lot of time over the years trying to record shows that were of interest. Now, I just say whether I like certain types of shows and BAM, it automatically records them.

OK, so anyone remember that "as seen on TV" remote control with the dials that would supposedly work with any VCR? You just dialed in the time to turn on and off the recorder and wow... no more manuals and blinking 12's. Sayonara, suckers!

Hehe... god, I love this device. You can ignore all of the crap you never wanted to watch anyways and simply focus on the stuff you did. And my god, if you need to walk the dog, tinkle, or even get some work done in the middle of your show, all ya' gotta' do is hit the big yellow pause button.

But hey, if that wasn't good enough, now there's TiVoToGo. Simply transfer what you've recorded on your TiVo to your computer and play it whenever. The only limitation is the size of the harddrive on your laptop.

Now all we need to do is wait another few months until someone develops an iPod-based media player. Then you can transfer your shows to your iPod and watch them there. If I could develop software, I'd be rich. :)

Been Busy!

2004-10-20T16:08:00.000-04:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah... I've been gone awhile. But I've been busy.

Work, wedding stuff, more job stuff, ran for JC president (lost), etc.

But it's been fun. I've gone to Disney again (finally broke down and bought a season's pass - for if you go only 8 times in a year, it pays for itself)... and we're going another time in about 2 weeks.

All my time these days is spent working, Turkey Shooting (no, not shooting turkeys www.raleighjaycees.com for more info) and Haunted Housing (www.jchauntedhouse.com). I guess I have a pretty limited life... but that's ok. After the TS and HH are done, it'll be back to HOBY (www.hobync.org) for me.

But I really promise to write more.

Really.

I swear.

I HATE moving!

2004-04-26T13:37:00.000-04:00

So I'm homeless at the moment. All my crap is in storage with the exception of my car, dog and computer (ok, and a few clothing items, too).

But it's the PROCESS that I hate. I think it's because I've done it too many times.

Starting from birth here are the moves that have involved 2 weeks or more in a given location:

1. Moved from home for unwed mothers (come on... it WAS the 70s) to Adoption Agency.
2. Adoption Agency to my parents home.
3. Parents first home to Texas (Dad had to do basic training).
4. Texas to Germany for Dad's Army assignment in Frankfurt.
5. Frankfurt back to US (Flossmoor, IL).
6. Flossmoor to Valparaiso, IN.
7. Valparaiso to summer camp in WI.
8. Valparaiso to summer camp in MI. (4 times)
9. Valparaiso to private school in Bath, Maine.
10. Bath to home at the end of the school year.
11. Valparaiso to military school in Mexico, Missouri.
12. Mexico to home at the end of the school year.
13. Valparaiso to summer camp in Indiana.
14. Valparaiso to military school again.
15. Mexico to home when I was dismissed from military school (interesting story... ask me sometime).
16. Valparaiso to summer camp in Indiana.
17. Valparaiso to summer camp in Indiana. (yes, again... three summers in a row)
18. Reverse move... I stayed in Valpo for college... my parents moved to Northfield, Illinois.
19. Valpo to Michigan summer camp to work for summer between Freshman and Sophomore years.
20. Valpo to Indiana summer camp to work for summer between Sophomore and Junior years.
21. Valpo fraternity house to Valpo dorm.
22. Valpo dorm to first apartment.
23. First apartment to second apartment (1.5 years later).
24. Second apartment to NC (3 years after that).
25. NC extended stay hotel to NC apartment.
26. NC apartment back to Chicago for work.
27. Chicago to NC when work and personal life conflicted.
28. NC apartment to NC house.
29. NC house to NC homelessness.

Wow. I've moved almost one time for every year that I've been alive. I should really stop doing this. I have a good idea that I'll be moving again in the relatively near future - becoming UNhomeless is my goal. :)

Feed the homeless here:

:)

NewJob

2004-04-04T11:58:00.000-04:00

This is a crazy world.

From no job, to contract job, to self-job, to new job... the whole experience has been an adventure.

Have you seen the Monster.com commercials where they all end with "Today's the Day?" Well, I searched monster.com for MONTHS looking for jobs. I went on dozens of interviews, received some offers and then I got a call from a recruiter saying that she'd found my resume on Monster.

I got the job. I took the job. I started the job. So now, I guess I can say that Monster.com is why I have a job. Wow.

And just when I think things are going to settle down, I get ANOTHER job call. Another recruiter found my resume on Monster.com. How weird is that? So I turn down this second job because I already now HAVE a job. When it rains, it pours.

But I guess I shouldn't even PARTIALLY complain, because I'm now employed and things are starting to all come together. But I really wish it would've happened just a bit faster. :)

2004-03-11T20:17:00.000-05:00

I have to look back through my calendar to see all that I've been doing in the last few weeks. Suffice it to say that I've been all over the place (did you know that you CAN, in fact, land an airplane in 40 mph crosswinds... and that when emesis is "deposited" on a plane, that the replace the seat and seatbelt?).

Anyways, the bulk of my days are consumed with trying to hawk raffle tickets for HOBY-NC's Vette Raffle. I can't believe we're actually doing it. But we are... and when I got an e-mail from the Sacramento, CA's DA's office, I almost lost my mind.

Apparently, the raffle is illegal under California law... and since I'd advertised it in a way directed at California residents, I was violating the law. I don't really think that's true. Neither does the HOBY-NC lawyer. But I don't feel like contesting the issue... so I withdrew our ads in California.

What a pain in the butt. :)

2004-03-01T22:32:00.000-05:00

I've got to write more about the job search... sorry if that's boring... but it's really unbelievable.

There has been a position posted for this area (first cool thing) doing what I do (second cool thing). It pays pretty well (third cool thing) and it's been open for awhile, too (fourth cool thing).

So I applied through a search firm. And then I started to find "similar" jobs from other recruiters in this area. But they weren't exactly the same. So I wasn't sure whether to apply to all of them or not (you can't usually apply for the same job through two recruiters - it just doesn't look good to the employers) because I didn't know where they were.

One of the recruiters was initially really interested in me. Then she told me that she was going to submit me. And then she dropped off the face of the planet. Oh well.

So I talked with another recruiter. SHE also thought I was a match. She fell off the face of the planet.

And then I talked with yet another. SHE thought I was a match. She said she was going to submit me. I called her again today. She said she did, but didn't know the results and regardless was going to submit me again with additional information just to get me in the door to talk with the hiring manager.

Let's recap. One (apparent) job. THREE recruiters. ZERO follow through on their part. Which is interesting considering that they will make about 30% of my starting salary just for getting me hired. Not a bad days' income for doing almost nothing (since I was finding THEM).

Pisses me off!

Oh well, I just do what I do. :)

2004-02-27T16:19:00.000-05:00

Tina and I went to see Duke play Valparaiso University (my alma matter) in basketball at Cameron last night.

Want to guess who won?

90-something to 50-something.

It was a slaughter. But we had fun there anyways! I received lots of stares as I was wearing a maroon Valpo sweatshirt. :) Next year they're playing at the United Center in Chicago. So Tina will look out of place in a Duke sweatshirt. Heh.

OK... time to get back to invitations. We have to address the INNER envelopes now, then put everything inside. Then lick, stick and send 'em away.

2004-02-23T22:38:00.000-05:00

I was raised on McDonald's, Burger King and Domino's Pizza. I LOVE fast food... not just the fact that I think it tastes good to me (given my finiky food behavior), but that it's just easy to get and I don't have to prepare it.

But the truth is that I should eat healthier meals. And Tina's been encouraging me to cut back on the calories - since my lazy butt has been on a couch for a lot of the last few months. :)

So I went to the grocery store to find something that would be fairly quick and easy to prepare to encourage better eating habits. I found the Healthy Choice bowls in the freezer section - more specifically, a Chicken & Rice bowl which was just perfect. I bought them by the boatload. I LOVED these meals.

Well, one day, I could no longer find them in the closest grocery store. I had to go online to find where else they were stocked. Visiting about 10 other stores in the Raleigh area, I cleaned out every one I could find. But the very next time I went back, there weren't any in stock anywhere.

OK. Don't panic. Go to the customer service desk and ask them if they have any in the back. No, none in the back. Alright, can you special order them? Sure. No problem. How long til they arrive? No clue. Fine, I'll just check back later.

For three consecutive weeks, I would call to check to see if they were in. Nope. Never. Sorry. So at this point, I was getting REALLY worried, as I only had 1 or 2 left! I was going to have to eat out more often if I lost my bowls.

I decided to call the manufacturer. I wanted to know where they recommended that I get them. Wanna' guess what happened? Oh yeah.... they were DISCONTINUED!!! I couldn't believe it. Apparently, the Chicken & Rice bowl wasn't very popular. I was crushed. Because now I was FORCED to eat out again!

But as usual, Tina came to the rescue. She told me to go and pick something else out at the store. After several failed attempts, I think I might have found another meal I like. Woo hoo! Can you guys tell McDonald's that I won't be around much?

2004-02-21T09:31:00.000-05:00

(Note: This is a cross-over blogisode - meaning that it's the same post here as on the Wedblog with minor differences. Thanks for playing along.)

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!

I'm tired of addressing wedding invitations.

My fingers feel like they're going to fall off. But at least the outside envelopes are done, now to do the insides.

What's that you say? Why am I doing it by hand? What possessed me to grab a caligraphy pen and hand-write 200 or so invitations?

Well, I'm a sadist, really. And I'm cheap. An addressing service (yes, folks, there are people paid to address envelopes) will do it for about $1.50/envelope. This includes the outer envelope - the one with:

Mr. and Mrs. Full-first-name-middle-name-last-name
Fully spelled out street address
Fully spelled out city, state and zipcode

And the inner envelope:

First name of each adult on the first line
First name of each child on the second line

But as I'm only done with the outer envelopes, I still have to repeat the process with the inners. Sound simple? Sure. Simple for me? Of course not.

First we had to order the invitations - you can read about some of that adventure on our WedBlog. We paid a little extra so the envelopes would arrive sooner than everything else (with the idea being that I would actually get started addressing them sooner. I tried.

I say, "I tried," because my first few envelopes were done with a caligraphy marker... and without me knowing that I was supposed to be doing the full-name-no-abbreviation thing apparently required by formal southern tradition. OH, and I had wanted to do the caligraphy in purple. Apparently, only black is the allowed color. Oops.

So first was a trip to get black caligraphy markers. I came back, did a few envelopes and Tina then informed me (after an hour of addressing) that while these were fine for my friends, it wasn't going to work for her family. I realized that this meant that I was doing it wrong for everyone and was going to have to go back to the store.

See, the marker has a wide tip. I needed to see if there was a smaller version. I found two more black caligraphy markers and returned home to discover that nope, they're the same size. Which meant that I just wasn't going to be able to use markers for this. I was going to have to (insert dramatic pause here)... buy a real caligraphy pen. (I also had to get a "light box" - a little translucent table with a nightlight installed under it - so that I could project guidelines drawn on a piece of paper inserted into the envelopes. This way, it appears that I'm really great at making letters of equal height and in a straight line.)

Three guesses on who doesn't know the first thing about caligraphy pens but had to learn quickly while standing in the aisle of the store! :)

Yes, I found what I thought I wanted, went home and opened the box. These pens aren't the $2 bizillion pens that they used to use for nice writing. They're idiot-proof pens for people like me. I followed the directions to insert the ink cartridge, attach the right "nib" and tried to start the ink flow.

Hmmmm... no ink flowing. I wrote with a down-stroke, an up-stroke, a side-to-side stroke. No flow. I tried a damp paper towel to help siphon the ink down the nip (this is a real suggestion made on the instruction sheet... I didn't just make it up myself). No flow. I tried shaking the pen. No flow. Finally, I shook the pen in sharp downward motions (like I was 'resetting' a thermometer) and then used the paper towel method. Flow.

Now I started addressing. It's an amazing thing to see how small I can get the letters with a real pen.

And today, two weeks after I started (and LONG after the rest of the invitations arrived thus showing us that we wasted a bit of cash on the envelope rush order), the outer envelopes are complete. But only because I did 80 of them yesterday.

So my fingers feel like they're going to shrivel up and fall off.

2004-02-18T19:10:00.000-05:00

I had an interesting day yesterday.

I love my car. What I love most is that my car has a bunch of cool gadgetry that makes my driving experience better than farfegnugen. But every once and awhile, some of that cool gadgetry goes Inspector Gadget on me.

The other day was my remote door locks. I have a nifty little feature called Passive Keyless Entry, PKE for short. PKE "senses" the presence of the keyfob and unlocks the door(s) when you approach and then locks the doors when you turn off the car, close the door and walk away.

The fob also has buttons for unlocking/locking the doors and popping the rear hatch. I realized things weren't working the day I turned off the car, pulled the keys out of the ignition and the doors locked me in and then the hatch popped open. Taking the car to the dealer, I found that I had a VERY expensive problem or an even MORE expensive alternative. So luckily for me, I just had the VERY expensive issue.

After a week or so, the car was ready to go. The keyfobs were reprogrammed to the car and the mechanic demonstrated that everything worked as it should... and that my rear hatch shouldn't pop as I'm driving down the highway. Of course, two days later, Tina needed to get in the passenger side of the car and we realized that the passenger door didn't unlock with the driver's door - which it used to do up to this point.

Tina feels like I'm not attentive as a result... and I'm pissed because I felt that the repair folks didn't do their job and I was taking the heat. I grabbed the car's manual, checked the appropriate pages, and saw how there were three PKE settings: Off, Driver's Door Only, Both Doors. I followed the instructions to change the settings to Both Doors. But it didn't work. Nor did it work the next dozen times I tried. Now you've got the background to understand what happened next.

As luck would have it, a lot of my interviewing trips were coming up, so I didn't have time to take it back to the dealer until yesterday. When I talked with the mechanic again, his response was "the car doesn't do that..." and "it's not something I can set up for you...". I pulled out the manual again, showed him where it said it was an easy setting to change.

After a half-hour of talking with other folks there who were supposedly "experts" on this particular vehicle, it was time to call Second Level Support from the Auto Manufacturer because no one there supposedly knew that the PKE system could unlock both doors. After ANOTHER half-hour, we found that there were a few possibilities... most likely it was a short between the ignition and the remote system receiver that was replaced during those expensive repairs. Of course, the only way to prove it was to rip open the dash board and test the wire. So I decided to live with the idea that the system only unlocks the one door for the moment.

But my favorite quote of the day came as I was getting back into the car to go home. The mechanic was smiling, joking about the extent to which they'd have to go to test that one piece of wire. And then, still smiling, he says "you're the only one who wants that setting... everyone else wants us to turn it off so that only one door unlocks...".

And I drove off... but wait a minute, didn't we start this adventure by him telling me that such a setting doesn't exist?

2004-02-13T22:49:00.000-05:00

Not much to really talk about these days.

Job hunting is always a trip. I wonder why people post jobs that a)don't exist or b)don't have all the NECESSARY qualifications listed.

The house is still for sale. I've had a LOT of showings. I just keep waiting for a real buyer.

2004-02-11T15:05:00.000-05:00

Hunting for jobs is NOT fun. I don't care whether you're looking for an hourly position or a salaried job. Sending out resumes, making cold calls... whatever you're doing, rejections are derigeur. And they're going to come in by the boatload. If you want more, come get some from me. :)

2004-02-05T21:43:00.000-05:00

So I'm innocently sitting at my computer the other day and I get an e-mail from Tina. It is a challenge to me to take a "political candidate" test to see who matches up with my personal beliefs. [Quick background note: Tina's pretty far Republican. I'm not. She's also politically inclined. I'm not.]

She taunts me with the idea that Joe Lieberman is actually in the top three of her list. She's doing this to prove to me that I don't know what the various candidates really stand for - and she's right. My test is abysmal. Al Sharpton is the 100% match with my views. Scary. I guess I'll be voting "independent" come November.

In other news, we're going on a double-date with Carmen tomorrow night. She's taking US out with the gift certificate we got her as a Christmas present. That's pretty good return on investment - get to hang out with our friends AND get dinner for free. Cha-ching!

Oh, and house sale news... apparently the person who wants my house is a total home buying newbie. She's completely skittish and doesn't really want to negotiate. But what she has been told to get is $3,000 in closing costs. After about 5 back & forth offers and counteroffers, I finally gave an ultimatum tonight. I'm tired of dealing with this. If she doesn't want the house, that's fine. I'm tired of playing around with her. She is either going to have to pay for it or go find someplace for free (which is apparently what she feels she deserves as a new home buyer). Hehe.

And I got another job offer. In yet another town somewhere other than Raleigh. This is getting out of hand. Why can't someone let me stay here?

2004-02-02T20:57:00.000-05:00

Not much happened today except that I made 100 phone calls for HOBY. Each school in North Carolina is invited to send one student to participate in this leadership weekend. But we don't hear from all of them, so we try to followup with them to see if they're going to send anyone. Thus the calls.

It took me three hours or so to do it. My fingers were sore from the dialing. And I got pretty tired of asking to speak with the guidance counselor, too.

And when I wasn't on the phone with a school, I was receiving calls about jobs and about selling my house. You'd better make an offer fast, or the house is going to be gone. :)